Saturday, August 13

sin city friday

lahat na ata ng bisyo (save for gambling and drugs), nagawa ko na yesterday.

my morning was very fruitful.. opened bids at 9am, and 2 pre-production meetings after. after yesterday and wednesday's production meetings, my calendar is officially full until october. ngaragan days are here again. weirdly enough im a bit excited kasi big things are going to happen and im happy i can be a part of it! wuhoo! charge everything to experience!

had lunch with my boss and client... yum yum masas! we ordered all my favorite food... haha. ako daw bahala e.. inihaw na tuna belly, bistek tagalog, sinigang na hipon, ginataang sitaw at kalabasa... ay gluttony. we ate passed 1pm na so carla and i got back to the office 3pm na halos. so at 3pm, my day started... needless to say, i wasnt able to do much. friday mode na. haha.

by 6pm, nag-aaya na ang girls of accounts to leave for our girls night out... i sort of forgot about it and hoped hindi na tuloy. chicken me. kasi naman, of all the places to go to... adonis pa! sus. umiiral manang-ness ko. so anyway, i went through with it anyway. just so i can say ive been to one. kasama pa si mamu elaine... our ultra hip and kwelang COO... so djahe na talaga to back out!

before the 'main event', we had lovely dinner at little asia.. as if my masas stuffing was not enough for late lunch, i had a feast at little asia... pumpkin and carrot soup (YUM!), salt n pepper something basta yung meat, chicken in lemon orange sause, some egplants cooked na masarap, PRAWN SALAD (at least i dont have to fly all the way to davao to eat the tiger lobster nito sa Ahfat)... basta dami food.. i wasnt even able to remember what everything was called. hahaha. stuffed tita angel talaga! (GLUTTONOUS COUNTS:2)

after that.. eto na talaga... we anxiously made our way to adonis, led by our brave mamu elaine... i could not believe i was going inside adonis. hahaha. there was a streamer outside pa that said: Adonis presents...Naughty Dick (Ang Lalakeng Pasaway). hahahaha. that could only spell trouble!

so i found myself inside... with 5 of my female officemates...and it was the weirdest experience ever! we were laughing most of the time.. haha.. needless to say i couldnt look at what was going on.. despite the fact na napunta ako sa kabisera nung table namin na right smack center facing the stage.. ako ata yung nahiya...highlights of the night:

1. the VO who introduces the 'next performer'... sounds like the person sa MRT telling you which station you're on.. haha. mumbled uffled and really just hard to decifer what he's saying! laugh trip.

2. BEST PERFORMER: Bamboo... akala ko the rolling of the hads was a signatre move.. i guess may bago nang addition... hard t expain but they do this turn on ther knees. and that backbend thing... the 'moves' are so hard to explain! but im sure we will all be mimicing their moves on monday.. hahaha. SIGNATURE 'rolling of the hands' MOVE - tallied 4... classic.

3. disturbing to notice they're all in 'nyerknyerk' nyorts.

4. guy humps floor... shows some ass cleavage... AND got tabled.... weird world we live in..!

5. THE 'BIG' EXPOSE - eto talaga hindi ko na kinaya. even elaine was a bit shocked.. so thats why they had a smoke machine... basta.. lets just say we all were speechless with the big surprise. im scarred for life.

SINS FOR THE DAY: gluttony (2), sloth (1/2 kasi i got 'some' work done naman), alcohol (1bottle), yosi (1 out of desperation and stress), boys (i dont want to count... hahaha).

Thursday, August 11

oh, brother!

i had a good day yesterday... i haven't had a good day for quite a while now.

my day begins around lunchtime since nothing hardly even happened to me in the morning...

lunch at abs-cbn while waiting for the people we were meeting with. i had cream of potato and leek soup... and bbq porkchops (with yummy mashed-po)... then we had a long brainstorming meeting na tuhog tuhog with the different production groups of the kapamilya shows we will be with... 3 hours, 6 shows... not bad. i enjoyed that meeting.. nice to be exposed to other production people aside from those sa provinces... :) i know my work probably doubled from that meeting but im excited pa rin for now kasi the plans look good and things are falling into place well... for now. haha. im sure once im in deep enough into this.. ill start ranting about it na rin. haha.

after the meeting/s... had my comfort zone tratment at Foot Trip sa Loop at abs pa rin... i saw with my boss and my cliet.. pwede na rin.. dala na ng pangangailangan... and the whole time i was on this lovely couch potato lazy-boy... hay.. heavenly. (plus, it turns out nilibre na kami ng client ko.. 'para sa lahat ng sakit ng ulo na dala ko...'... some people never failt o surprise me.)

but the highlight of my day was i got to see the house they're using for Pinoy Big Brother.. ASTIG! they built it specifically for the show.. at hindi po sya set.. bahay sya talaga... cameras and microphones all over the ceilings.. glass windows (one-way) along all walls... and rooms that allow you to see the whole house as if it were an aquarium in Ocean Park. ASTIG talaga. i was so sold on the show i want it to start na. curious lang ako how pinoys will fare in a show like that. amazing whoever was able to put all that together... thought of everything actually. i cant stop raving about it. i hope the show itself will not be a let down... baka over-hyped.

haha. that made my day. simple lang but for some reason i was really happy yesterday... i even bought 3 tops at Tango (sale kasi)... i should really keep myself from spending... hahaha.

Tuesday, August 9

face your boggart

i dont expect anyone to comment on this. i just really need to let some thoughts out... talking to myself doesnt seem to be as effective anymore.. maybe if i write it down i can process things better.

one of my greatest fears is to find out i have turned into a monster. to be the person i said i would never be.
so hear i am, faced with just that. during the day i pretend im all sunshine and rainbows (although thats true for most of the time now than before), at night i lash out at people. i get mad at the smallest things. and i know when im mad i say hurtful things. im a heart girl.. emotions overrule my logic. if i keep my mouth shut about my anger, i get even more angry.. i just need to let it out... let the anger out.

im itching to get away. to be able to rest a while from thinking about things. gusto ko lumayo. baka in an unfamiliar place, ill be able to find the order that will let me fix this. at least i know i was right about one thing.. ako yung problema. at least i can start fromt here.

grabe, ive never been this angry before. thing is sometimes i realize i dont know exactly what or who im angry at. maybe im mad at myself. or i just got used to being 'mad'... and now im not sure if im mad or not talaga... ah ewan. this calls for a long vacation. kaso my dilema is that pagod na ako pag-isipan but there is need to think about it to be able to address it.

1. learn to forgive.... and forget. i want to write down all the things that bother and hurt me.. maybe this way pwede ko nang isa-isahing i-process at isa-isa ring itapon. this is going to be one long list. im undecided yet if im going to share this list with anyone or not.. right now i feel that being myself tends to repel people than keep them close.. maybe i need to keep a healthy level or pretention... which i think everyone does naman...

2. be more in control of emotions. this seems to be a deeper issue than others will see... thinking about it, this might have a lot to do with my childhood... i guess im really the only one who can help myself. i dont think this is somethign one fixes overnight.. i may take the rest of my life for this but i give myself credit for admitting it.

3. leave negativity. or al least overcome it. come to think of it, ainee was right in saying its easier to be sad.. or inthis case,. easier to be negative... this is going to be hard as well seeing im so used to being so angry its almost become instinctive.

maybe i can go on a retreat or something. but i hope i will not be alone in this.. seeing i have to overcome myself, i will need someone to guide me through it. someone i dont know and someone who does not know anyone involved in this. i need someone who can listen to me. someone na i can pour out all my anger to... para lang masabi ko na at mailabas ko. ive kept things inside and it grew to this... so now, all that coems out is anger.

they think i dont pray... they keep reminding me to pray. but i do... i pray a lot. they dont know that when im really angry i pray so i wont be as angry anymore. they dont know that it may seem as though i blame them and the world, i pray because i end up blaming myself.

gusto ko na matapos to. i feel like im self destructing (if there's such a thing)... and people around me have heard enough of it. so im left to 'talk to myself'... i just need to be heard and bounce of this anger... face the mirror girl.

Monday, August 8

weekends

i love weekends.. not only because i dont have to drag my ass to work, but simply because i get to do stuff for myself.

saturdays are usually spent with my nephews... hay. lurve them to bits!

si justin kahit nakaka-inis nakaktuwa to see him grow up.. i know na why ako yung favorite pagtripan nung bata ako.. iba talaga mangatuwiran. hahaha. he thiks like an adult na hindi. basta. i guess he gets it from listening to adult-talk all the time.. :p

si sam... ubod ng lambing. i can hug him for 10 minutes and he wont complain. plus he's super smart... asks the right questions... although away talaga when its time to eat. haha.

vins. hay this kid is such a handful! grabe. bundle of energy. plus may sarili nang isip. of the brothers, so far he has the longest attention span.. as early as last year, when he was 2, you can literally leave him watching his choice of dvd and know when the movie is done lalapit na lang sayo. haha. smart kids...

my ever so cuti pie sevi... he's turning 1 in september... im so excited for him to get a little older.. old enough na makaka-usap mo na ng konti... although i dont get to spend much time with him kasi i usually see my nephews sa mall... hay... what a ninang i am...

sundays naman the past few weekends have been spent at market market and adidas sports kamp watching my sister's soccer game...

yesterday, my sister, being the matapang person that she is, flipped and hit her head on the court (indoor futsal)... i got so worried kasi malakas tama nung ulo nya... buti na lang wala si mommy or else i can imagine sigaw nya.... hihihi. but toughie naman si ria... she just saw stars and after a while up and running again... they won... yahoo... next weekend again.. MENTAL NOTE: do not sit on teh opponent's side... soccer moms are the most ruthful sports moms... hihihi.

so needless to say, when im at market market i spend... in small amounts each time, but almost always, i buy something... i should stop.. really.. hahaha. but on the other hand, im still building my wardrobe... hahaha. excuses excuses.

i know it's just monday, but im already looking forward to this weekend....

Thursday, August 4

good tidings and happy birthdays

good things are about to come my way and it could not have come at a better time. i dont know if eveything just seems better kasi when your down eveything else is above you abd better or things are REALLY getting better (as in for real)... i have a good feeling its the latter one. yay for me.

im nervous and excited for it... i hope it pushes through. and although paulo will probably continue to call me crazy and weird for this, i will need to PEP talk myself more often for it... i need all the ego boosting i can muster.. after the ego beating i just went through (hey, i like the way i said it as past tense... time to move on indeed). a little ego mantra shouldnt hurt. after all, it IS a major challenge up ahead.

im a bit sad though that i cant share it with a really important friend of mine.. given the situation we are in. im still torn between teling her about it or not... God will let me know what to do when the time is right. (yes, i still get religously philosophical when i get into serious situations... hahaha. we all have to cope somehow). but i know she will be happy for me. after all, i will be keeping her in mind all through out this... thinking of what i think she would do in my position... idol talaga. hahaha. i cant help it. she did such a great job with me... right? hahaha... magbuhat ba ng sariling bangko?!

so i guess Bree was right... when times are shitty, the best IS yet to come...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PEARL!

if you get to read this... i really miss you!!! grabe. i got so used to crossing the street (sans bath) just to hang out with you...!!! haha. i hope you're making good progress with your thesis.. para naman you can come home again.. i cant wait to feed vess balut again. hehehe. ill order na the yema you guys love so much!

Pearl is way way WAY beyond my best friend... i cant even think of a 'title' for her... i guess thats understandable if you've beed through a lot ith each other:

1. literally grew up together ( i dont remember how old we were when we started hanging out. only our parents could remember... and they'd ALWAYS say our yayas would walk us together outside... you in your stroller, and me karga ni daday.)

2. fought over pet chickens (okay fine. i admit it WAS juvenile to say finders keppers losers weepers when i found your chicken here one morning... :p)

3. got grounded over young love sweet love featuring manilyn reynes and aljon jimenez (i got grounded... stupid be home before sunset rule.. duh, we live across each other! anywa, i got grounded so your parents grounded you too.. hahaha. i dont know who is wackier.. us 2 or our parents!)

4. dancing 'step by step' sa kalye and playing jackstone... you sa terrace nyo and me sa garage namin... too early pa daw kasi ang kapitbahay according to my mom.. but we were really honest no... to shout to the other pag 'dead' na yung isa. hahaha.

5. mastering the art of identifying who is playing basketball sa malayong court at the end of the street with just one short glimpse habang tumatawid from my house to yours (or vice versa.. yes, these were the early stages of my 'stalkerette' side)... ay nako vincent and nino.. what shucks we were over boys then... im afraid im still abit of a shmuck now. :p

6. finishing all the flour and baby powder at one's house just cause we saw how to make our own ref magnets sa negosiyete

7. taking care of your younger brother when he had hi circumision (it was such a fad that summer no? i think all the boys here sa atin had it done that summer.. hahaha.)

8. takas swimming (your mom even lied! and that was the ONLY time i 'rented' a bathing suit.. thank God i was just 7)

9. freshly made liver spread that you and your brother hate but i absolutely loved. YUM!

10. how you would always outsmart me into doing stupid stuff or believing bogus things.. but i got back at you once when i convinced you to eat your bugger... hahaha. (CORRECTION: i made you eat MY booger and you didnt even know it was booger... hwehwehwe..)

11. 'moon bathing' during the browout days which we regretted the next day when we woke up with fevers... oh and 'panget alerts'!!!

aaaaaaah!!!! all the memories! i cant stop listing it down. hahaha. the others are too embarrasing to write down, but i know you can think of loads more.

anyway, you are now 25... im turning 24 in december.. THANK YOU FOR 24 YEARS OF SISTERHOOD. you are the sister i never had when i was growing up. :) looking forward to the next 80+ years with you... :) HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. mwah! love yah!

Monday, August 1

major relapse este recap

ive been a bad blogger. no post for almost a month.. i dont even remember my last post!

anyway. a lot has happened since and ill probably will never be able to recap everything na.... work got hectic (no excuse i know), and issues rose from the dead. so needless to say, my days have been spent analyzing (and most of the time feeling bad about myself) and thinking and striving to get work done. so there. a lot of mending (hehe. mang mendy-ing) to be done. eto nanaman ako. i get so caught up with small things that they grow into big things. but im a heart girl... my head will lose more battles to my heart.

so anyway... im almost done watching season1 of desperate housewives (thanks to tat for lending us)... and i got struck by what bree said (in the latter episodes)
when things are tough, you have to think: the best is yet to come...
(not her exact words, but ill go get the ea\xact words tonight when i watch it again)

ive been out if it for quite a while now... sukdulan na ng 'kalutangan' ko when i went to mass yesterday and i realized i forgot to rinse the conditioner off my hair! geeez... that got me thinking that i have to regain control of myself.. haha. who knows what else ill forget... haha.

belated happy birthday to my twin sisters.. they turned 30 last week.. hehehe. they dont look anywhere near 30. haha i think sometime i look older than them pa.

CSI season ender rocks! umiyak talaga ako. kahit ako, i wanted to look for nick na.. haha... im suck an involved viewer!

balikan davao last saturday... had to go there to cover this segment for one of our promos... so buntot-kiti-buntot kay charles (SCQ dude.. ddnt know who he is up til now)... tas i insisted to be back the same day coz ive been looking forward to watching live aids with my lovely office friends. so i booked the 625pm flight.. when i checked in that morning to leave for davao (5am flight... hay, no sleep.. no sleep for the bothered soul), i found out that my return flight was delayed and will leave at 815pm instead. another let down for such an emotionally tiring week. but as always, i swalloed the emotions and went to work. but my luck seems to be on vacation.. pag-check in ko pauwi, DELAYED AGAIN! 935 na daw. so that really spoiled all my plans ano!? di na talaga ako aabot. ok na rin, ill go home to sleep na lang.. BUT NO! 930 po dumating an eroplano. so sira na talaga araw ko. hay.

buti na lang my sunday was too lovely to stay sour-faced. except for the conditioner incident, i had a great day.

lunch at pier one (to celebrate my sisters' bday), got to spend tons of time with my pamangkins.. love them to bits... went shopping for a while.. (was in that magical mood that i gravitate toward the nice stuff.. saya talaga).. and watched tita ria's futsal game (which they won and she scored her first goal for the season.) yay for sunday.

so hoping the week is as lovely as my sunday.. pahinga naman sana ako sa mga kalungkutan ng buhay... :)