3 months

in a few days i would have been away from home for 3 months already. cut-off na ng homesickness ko. oh no... no more excuse for insane moments. hahahaha.

i clearly remember mr g telling me that the first 3 months would be most difficult for me... this is where all the adjustments and homesickness usually kicks in. oddly enough, ratherim thankful, that apart from at most 3 inexplicably sad mornings of uncontrolled tears and over the top melodrama and ka-praningan, i've been okay here. i am in no way complaining.. dont get me wrong. im surprised i have not cried buckets every night nor have i impulsively bought tickets back to manila. although i think i still have had my fair share of realizations.

before i left for saigon, i was picking alf's brain about what its like to live and work abroad... to somehow prepare myself for the changes ahead. i remember him saying that it would be a good experience, but i should be aware that i may discover things about myself that i may not be ready to accept. i knew this move was about both professional and personal growth. so far i have been faced with more realities about myself. some of which are easier to swallow than others. hahaha. but i have no regrets.

so here is to my first (almost) three months... and hopefully to many more stable and fruitful ones. :p mot, hai, ba, yoooooooooo! :D

under the radar

sometimes i feel like im living my life under the radar. while i dont doubt my capabilities and potential, its just a nagging thought that im the only one who knows of them. hahaha.

back in manila, i worked (with great pride) for the same company for 5 years --- it was my first job. though i was there for 5 long years, ive come to realize that i barely know anyone in that industry outside of those that i have worked with. ang konti. hahaha. in fact, when i got a call from another agency late last year and the girl said she heard about me and is interested to get me for her team, i was half surprised and half doubting if this was for real or if it was just someone playing a prank on me. i kept on thinking "how in the world id she hear of me???".

i guess i dont mind that im not one of those people that if you mention the name, chances would be that someone would have heard of him/her. in short, di ako pop-kid. not when i was in grade school, maybe a bit more in college (pero hindi rin e), and definitely not when i was working. 

is that necessarily a good or a bad thing? should have its pros and cons, but which would outweigh the other? 

does that make me an under achiever? or does it simply mean im not as good as i think i am?

maybe it means im just not the type to broadcast and merchandise my work? humility?

or maybe i AM popular in my own right, but i just realize it?

hmm....

no words

i find it ironic... now that some of the greatest things in my life are happening to me, i cannot find the right words to capture the emotions, the experiences and the immensity of it all. part of me is probably afraid that if i try to put it into words, it will end up sounding cheesy and baduy. hahaha.

maybe i should just stop trying and thinking so hard and just write about it. :p i think in the future, i will appreciate how i can look back at great times like these and know that somehow ive immortalized parts of it.