is this it???

its been announced... here we go! im excited and nervous at the same time. excited for the new things coming my way. this could be the challenge i was unconsiously looking for. but nervous mostly in anticipation of what this actually has in store for me. right now, all i can really do is wait... wait until im given further instructions.

i shouldnt let that email get me down. i wasnt my "best" this year, and i wont deny i've had my weak moments. but im not apologizing for them either. kasi even on my tamad days, i know i push myself as much as i can.

i hope i did the right thing. if not, at least i know i shouldnt regret anything. im going to give this a shot.. im going to work my ass off for this... the decision has been made and im bent on making it work. the next months should be veeeeeeery interesting.

tanong lang ha...

do opposites REALLY attract?

i mean sure it makes things interesting but i find it really odd how majorly different we are and yet we are where we are... absolutely odd, but fun. haha.

a dose of truth

I don't necessarily relate to this right now, but there is a lot of truth for me in this.

Iris' monologue from The Holiday:

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.

It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back.

Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms."

steady day

it feels weird to be at the office and yet feel this relaxed. haha. today was a steady day. i think it has something to do with me getting to the office really late --- woke-up late, shuttle left much later; and the calming effect of packing the halloween loot bags for the kids this friday.

haha. no wonder im relaxed! i barely had work to do today...

muntikan na

i missed the glorietta explosion by a few minutes... and with a whole lot of luck.

i went to the mall to run some errands: buy a gift for a couple, have my dress altered and go get lunch.

i got off at glorietta 2 first to have my dress fixed and asked the lady if i could come back for it within the hour after i get the other things out of the way. the next hour or so was spent walking all over glorietta purchasing the gifts. i was almost at g2 when i decided to just get my dress later before i went home or some other day because i was carrying so many things and my feet were starting to hurt already.

so i made a u-turn and headed for g4 passing through the cinema to buy the burger king ive been craving for. i had just gotten to the taxi stand (outside oakwood) and was throwing nasty looks at the people who insist on hailing cabs outside the line when literally wave after wave of running and screaming people poured out of the doors.

i thought it was some marketing stint or something, but realized moments after that something was wrong. i heard one of the people say "may sumabog sa timezone". yun na. i started to shake. i was thinking that i LITERALLY just came from there. then i saw people (quite a number of kids) being carried out to the cabs stuck along the oakwood driveway... most of them wounded and carried by an adult. by this time there was no line for cabs anymore and the lady in front of me had to call my attention to the fact na wala na ngang taxi na dadaan and more importantly, delikado tumayo outside glorietta if it could possibly have been a bomb.

long story short, i eventually got a cab and headed for my client's office so i can deliver the gift i had bought. i still cant explain what i was feeling at that time. i was still shaking and almost crying, but at the same time i felt okay. i think it really hit me when i saw kris. as soon as she asked me if i was okay, i started to cry. as more information spread through the news, it turns out that the timezone referred to by that person was the one near g2. the same one i pas through to get to where i had my dress fixed. grabe. parang natatawa ako na hindi. good thing i didnt claim my dress like i originally planned. or else, i would have ended up in the news too.

ganun pala feeling nun. i think i was staring at the people running out of oakwood like i was watching a movie. and surreal. and even now, that im sitting here at my desk safe and in one piece, i still cant believe i was almost part of that accident.

getting better

my mood has been getting better since monday's "slip". from the super silent me last tuesday, im slowly finding my voice again (and my sense of humor too).

mahirap pala akong ma-bakasyon... throws me off-sync.

sirang plaka

like a bad case of LSS, i cant get you out of my head. it sucks coz normally i can tune you out when im at work. but today, you keep popping up in my head!!! its distracting and destructive. please stop. hahahaha. maybe in a few days all my "systems" will be up and running again and i can go back to my abnormal self.

dangerous grounds... im on very dangerous grounds. well, dangerous for me at least.

instant getaway: baguio

lily and i had planned on walking around manila to take pictures for the friday holiday. but thursday night, we decided not to push through. instead, we found ourselves on a bus headed towards baguio.

Friday, Oct 12
i woke up feeling so lousy and sad that i made a beeline for papa's laptop so i could post some vague and senti post. lily happened to be online and by 1030am, we were getting ready to meet up to leave for baguio. biglaan kung biglaan, but lily and i were raring to go on an adventure.

even when it was raining so hard in makati, had a hard time finding an ATM to withdraw money from, AND going to the wrong bus station, by 130 we were actually on our way! hahaha! 2 bus stops later, and after losing all sensations in my ass, we arrived in baguio past 8pm... with no confirmed accommodations yet. :p

we were lucky we got a room at La Brea (lower session road sa taas ng Yellow Cab and beside ChowKing ---thanks for the reco tita meldy!!!). perfect spot yung place because most of what we needed was just a few steps away. yun nga lang, may gimikan on the second floor... buti na lang di na rinig sa 6th floor. lily and i ended up getting a family room (1,500 good for four)... we had our own queen size beds. haha. ang daming space, but still affordable.

since we weren't able to have any decent breakfast or lunch, as soon as we were able to check in, we looked for a place to eat. vizco's (right beside don henrico's) is good... and oh-so affordable! we bought strawberry shortcake here and it was good too... sayang nga lang di na namin nakunan ng picture. hahaha. naubos agad!


Saturday, Oct 13
may "surprise" sa steps going out. ew. i guess someone had a little too much to drink the night before. hahaha. what a way to start the day. haha.

had breakfast at John Hay then walked to Startbucks then walked around some more for photo ops. haha. pareho kasi kaming di marunong ni lily... needs practice. after John Hay, we went to mines view where we saw this HUGE st bernard. super cute. kahit may bayad, nagpa-picture talaga kami. haha. mapilit kasi ako.

after the photo-ops, we went to SM Baguio to buy me pantulog.. i was in such a hurry, i had forgotten to bring any. sheesh. then we had late lunch at cafe by the ruins. i was a bit disappointed with my pasta but the iced tea and the kalbasa soup were as good as i remember them to be.

then the rain fell... hard. i had left my jacket in our room coz i was feeling hot but i decided to embrace the cold weather and pray it would stop raining soon. when it did slow down to a drizzle, we hied off to the ukay ukay to try our luck. alas, no such luck pala. bought a few stuff lang then headed back to the room to rest before our "late" dinner invite... BUT! we had to take photos of the two rainbows first. haha. we looked funny stopping in the middle of session road, trying to keep our cameras from getting wet from the drizzle, just to take photos of the rainbows like little girls with simple joys.

dinner was simple ang home-y. home cooked meals are always good. especially capped with great coffee and a slice of strawberry shortcake. too bad my night turned tough when i got struck by a BAD case of cramps (mental note: go see a doctor na kasi...). imagine, i was in the middle of the mountains, in the outskirts of baguio, and i was sweating in pain. as in beads of sweat on my forehead. i couldnt take some important calls for work (i was shooting the next day) and lily had to take them for me. eventually, the pain went away... as always.

all in all, the company was good. its always interesting to meet new people. see how other people happily live their lives outside manila. gave me perspective on things...

Sunday, Oct 14
thats today.... time to go home. we had purchased tickets when we arrived last friday night. i have a shoot scheduled later this afternoon and i HAD to make sure i was going to be back in time. took the 7am trip on Victory Liner pa rin despite lacking sleep for the second night in a row. the trip home was fast! we were back in manila by 1pm. haha. so here i am, killing time.. posted photos on my multiply (captions and all)...

taking the trip was a great idea.. i may have come home with a new "problem", but in general it was a great idea pa rin. it feels liberating to do something big and not have plans. good contrast to my regular days where almost everything is planned (even if the plans are almost never follwed naman). im lucky i found a travelling partner in lily... in fact, we already have a list of places to see and things to do in the next years to come. hahahahaha!

next trip: BOHOL

10 days (will update with pics when i get to the office)

the past 10 days have been eventful for me. none of the life-changing events (i got that out of the way before going on leave), but simple and memorable events. i planned to take a week-long leave as soon as i found out mel was coming home. i was well aware we wouldnt be spending all of the week together (im not her only friend, i know. hahaha.) and i actually looked forward to spending some time alone and getting long-overdue personal errands out of the way. so here's the rundown of what ive been up to the past 10 days:

sept 28, friday
i had a meeting at balintawak at 3pm and i KNEW it was going to be tight timing-wise for me to make it to mel and abe's surprise dinner. good thing cy and i made it to dampa ahead of time.

funny thing that night was when mel called me and i wasnt prepared with a fake storyof where i was so i ended up telling her i was having dinner with my family at libis dampa. at that exact moment, this airplane flew right over my head. GREAT. how was i supposed to explain a low flying plane in libis?! hahaha. good thing mel didnt notice kasi the plane flew over where she was too. :p

sept 29, saturday
spent most of my day with joaqui. first to the hospital to make final preps for his minor procedure later in the week. i spent 98% of the time carrying him and by the end of the day i was really hoping ana had brought the stroller with us --- tired arms were an understatement! good thing i got a body treatment and a massage with mel at the spa before heading to pat's bday salubong (greasy hair and all).

cause of delay ako.. i admit. but it was great to see my girls again. as with avery get together with them, we laughed at the boys of our past and present (well, cha's present)... and syempre ang walang kamatayang laglagan. :p pano yan pat, as far as ed is concerned, di ka na uuwi! hehehe.

sept 30, sunday
spent the day at ABS re-taping something for work. my patience got tested again and i was literally on the brink of strangling someone. hahaha. all in a day's work and at least i got to eat my crab salad at gram's!

oct 1, monday
spent my day at the mall. had A LOT to eat for lunch with mel at cafe med and suffered a bad tummy ache until mid afternoon. so i stayed in powerbooks to let the pain subside. i used to stay there for hours on end scanning books and listing down those i intend to buy one at a time. it felt great to be able to do that again but this time, i bought the books that i wanted before leaving the store.

oct 2, tuesday
QT day with mellie. spent it eating and walking round greenbelt and glorietta. oh and we watched 'ive fallen for you'... we were laughing and crying. haha. kakaiba nga naman talaga kasi ang mga hirit ng pinoy. two of our favorite laugh trip lines from the movie:

1. by toni gonzaga's sister: girl, late lang sya. hindi nya responsibilidad ang kinabukasan mo...
2. by kim chiu: bakit ang bisikleta pwede mag-preno, ang celphone na-lolow batt... pero ang puso hindi napipigilan?

i miss hanging out with mel. although ill have to admit i had to adjust to having her around again... so much has happened to both of us in the 8 months she was away. we stay in touch to keep eachouther updated of course, and i still bug her for major decisions, but i guess its still different when you're around each other when things are actually happening. in any case, it didnt take long ot adjust. haha. we were back to our old selves in no time. and it was a great day. :p

oct 3, wednesday
spent the day at asian hospital for joaqui's procedure. poor boy had to fast and was constantly doing his baby sign for milk. wala naman magawa si ninang kasi bawal naman. all went well with his procedure and he was happily watching his baby einstein in his roon in no time. he was his usual happy boy state until it was time to drink his paracetamol...

long story short, when joaqui doesnt like what he's being fed, he vomits. in this case, he went linda blaire on ninang. i was surprised at the amount of liquid in his eensy weensy body!(issa was right to remind me of my purple waterfalls, but thats a different story)

oct 4, thursday
i stayed home. period. hahahaha. i got to spend my day in bed watching tv. saya!!! FINE, i cleaned my room and partially fixed my cabinet.. but i managed to stay in bed for most of the day pa rin. :p

oct 5, friday
adventure day. i planned on personally giving client's gift to maja because i had nothing else planned. poor girl was working on her birthday... as in the WHOLE day. we had to literally bring her birthday to her. i dont think she was able to spend time with her family and non-showbiz friends but she said naman she was happy pa rin for all her blessings. i didnt realize how much personal time was "wasted" by these artistas while waiting for their turn to be shot. as in nakakaloka ang idle time. sayang talaga sa oras. well, bawi na lang daw sa tulog or endless kwentuhan with her fellow artists. i guess by the end of the day i was left feeling that in several ways, i had it good. my job, although still takes up A LOT of my time, still allows me to actually have a life. unlife showbiz life where you're literally at the mercy of other people telling you where to go at whatever time. sheesh. (more kwento about this in another post na lang...)

oct 6, saturday
today, i showed gestures of love for mom...

despite getting less than 6 hours of sleep and still feeling tired from all the standing i did the day before, i was a dutiful daughter and i headed to makati early to meet mom for her MRI at makati med but we made a quick stop at the salcedo market to grab some grub. i thought i was just going to be there for her for when she comes out still groggy (my mom is nerbyosa to the max and salf-declared claustrophobic that she asked her doctor to give her drugs to put her to sleep for the procedure) and make sure she gets around okay. it turns out i ended up being in the room with her during the actual MRI procedure cause she wasnt groggy yet when it was time to go through it.

later that day, mom, tat and i headed to duty free and instead of shopping i was pushing mom on a wheelchair cause she was having her back pains again. i thought we were in for an accident when it was time to go down the spiral ramp to the ground floor. hahahaha. mom was laughing at me the entire time. hay.

oct 7, sunday
spent my last day with my mom while getting a head start on some long-overdue office report(ssssss).

so to sum it up, i had 3 trips to 2 hospitals, 2 and a half mall days, 1 party, 3 days where i shopped, 1 showbiz day, and 2 lazy days. i think i had a great 10 days.

good enough to get a break from the office environment and to 'transition' to my new responsibilities at work. im looking forward to that actually... but thats another post as well (mental note: 3 posts due)