if today were my last

im taking time out from my insane schedule to write some thoughts.

i woke up at 3am this morning from a bad dream that i was going to die tomorrow (which is today, or something like that). i couldnt go back to sleep right after because i was so afraid it would come true. ive been constantly having deja vu's from snippets of dreams ive had long ago and this is one dream i would really rather not come true. thinking about it, im not too sure if its because im afraid to die or if its because its different if you know when you're going to die and its tomorrow!

on my way to work, i was thinking of what id do if i knew it was going to be my last. just thinking about it leaves this funny feeling in me. maybe that the feeling of uncertainty of not knowing for sure if ive been able to make people feel and know how i feel about them.

does my mom know im going to miss her the most if i die?
do my friends know exactly how much they mean to me? have i been able to give back to them all the immaterial things that they have given me?
will papa know in his heart that even if ive been irritable with him, im still his 'baby doll'?

this probably isnt the best time to be in this emotional state, with the heavy (understatement) workload and all, but i just wanted to get my thoughts down and maybe get back to them some other time.

9/11

first the old new and the bad news...

OLD NEWS
Sept 1... our bldg got a bomb threat which caused us to temporarily not have work for a few hours that day. well, those who didnt have lunch meetings didnt have work for a couple of hours... bede, marj and i had work. its weird though coz it seems we're the only floor who was asked to leave the building... or at least i havent heard of any other floor that evacuated as well... hmm... conspiracy?

BAD NEWS
Sept 11... our office aircon is officially dead. being on the 26th floor with no aircon is NO FUN. windows are all open, people are all in summer clothes, im forced to wear shades while working because im right beside the window and the glare is killing me, and the worst thing is... we might be this way the whole week.. or until they get a hold of the damn replacement part.

now the good/better news...

met up with some college friends last night (even if it was my sisters bday :p) and had a blast. of course it wouldnt be complete without mike's ultimate guilt trip, but the 200+ photos on our multiply sites shoulde attest to the mount of categorical fun we had. part two tonight... abangan...

low batt

its a half past 6.. and the office is empty. pretty unusual since by this time AEs would usually still be runnung around trying to get as much done. then again, today has been fairly unusual too... half empty office because everyone was out for meetings and stuff.

ive been low on work-energy the past few days.. im a tad bit more enthusiastic because of the 'new' account, but been low on physical energy. im alwalys sleepy and barely half awake once i get to the shuttle. and every morning, i feel like i havent had sleep even if i had over the 7-hour sleep i usually aim for.

got senti over the weekend. i havent felt that kind of senti in a while... yun lang.