dreammoods.com

read kaye's blog and she had a link to a dream dictionary... so i checked why my last vivid dream might mean...

Death
To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Alternatively, you are trying desperately to escape the demands of your daily life.

Die
To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.

"i want" to-do list

1. shop... i look at my cabinet and im sad. im not excited to wear any of my clothes anymore
2. go out of town - not a "work" out of town , but a "fun-with-friends" out of town
3. bum around at home for 2 weeks
4. go scuba diving and surfing
5. learn how to figure skate
6. dance again... seriously train and improve and learn new skills
7. redecorate my room.. technically its not just mine alone, but id like to think it is. :p

i know i had a longer list when i thought of writing about this today, but the rest escape me. haha. maybe they're not THAT important to me. haha!

nothing to say

i havent been posting much lately... and its not as if there is nothing to write. i think for the longest time i was conscious of what to write because i was aware others would read it... duh-uh! isnt that the entire point of a blog?

so anyways, i wanted to write something new... just because i have a couple of minutes to spare tonight, but really dont have anyhting in mind.

ive been reading through friends' blogs (something i haven't been able to do much as well), and it got me thinking how much time and energy ive been 'spending working'... and the irony is that there are days when i feel im not working enough.. or at least not fast enough. hmm... something smells fishy here....

speaking of work, everyone seems to be busy these days... at least most advertising people i know... myself included. by busy, i mean the good kind... the kind that keeps you feeling smart and tickles your brain. hay.

now its time to dive back into my work... hope i can go out soon... i should actually...

thanks maykhel

i was feeling emotional over the weekend... and you sorted me out.
somehow, you always manage to say the right things.

thanks for saying: "whoever made you feel that way isn't worth it"
i didnt expect hearing that would calm my worries.. you made me cry, but at least i was calmer. so from now on, ill call you whenever i get anxious. hahahaha! kidding...

by the way, i DID dream of your bay window that night ha... except karlo and mic were there too... haha.

come visit me soon? i promise, mom will be okay if you guys sleep over.

september fly-by

ive been busy the past month... and september has been an exciting month for me!

1. Sept 1 bomb threat
2. 2 and a half weeks of no aircon
3. Won a new account - my first pitch... buena mano!
4. Pitched for yet another account
5. Milenyo - first time i experienced motion sickness dahil sa likot nung building... first time i had to climb down 26 floors worth of stairs, then look for a place to relocate and work

these on top of the regular workload of TVC and print shoots, meetings here and there, paperwork, and all the regular load we have.

several times have i found myself falling asleep wearing exactly what i wore to work (minus the shoes)... i havent been THAT tired in a LONG time... feels great! plus, i literally have no energy left to have 'unnecessary' worries.

its been a good september for me... and for the office (generally speaking)... and it seems that the workload will stay this way up until first week of december... time will literally fly this last quarter. great!

if today were my last

im taking time out from my insane schedule to write some thoughts.

i woke up at 3am this morning from a bad dream that i was going to die tomorrow (which is today, or something like that). i couldnt go back to sleep right after because i was so afraid it would come true. ive been constantly having deja vu's from snippets of dreams ive had long ago and this is one dream i would really rather not come true. thinking about it, im not too sure if its because im afraid to die or if its because its different if you know when you're going to die and its tomorrow!

on my way to work, i was thinking of what id do if i knew it was going to be my last. just thinking about it leaves this funny feeling in me. maybe that the feeling of uncertainty of not knowing for sure if ive been able to make people feel and know how i feel about them.

does my mom know im going to miss her the most if i die?
do my friends know exactly how much they mean to me? have i been able to give back to them all the immaterial things that they have given me?
will papa know in his heart that even if ive been irritable with him, im still his 'baby doll'?

this probably isnt the best time to be in this emotional state, with the heavy (understatement) workload and all, but i just wanted to get my thoughts down and maybe get back to them some other time.

9/11

first the old new and the bad news...

OLD NEWS
Sept 1... our bldg got a bomb threat which caused us to temporarily not have work for a few hours that day. well, those who didnt have lunch meetings didnt have work for a couple of hours... bede, marj and i had work. its weird though coz it seems we're the only floor who was asked to leave the building... or at least i havent heard of any other floor that evacuated as well... hmm... conspiracy?

BAD NEWS
Sept 11... our office aircon is officially dead. being on the 26th floor with no aircon is NO FUN. windows are all open, people are all in summer clothes, im forced to wear shades while working because im right beside the window and the glare is killing me, and the worst thing is... we might be this way the whole week.. or until they get a hold of the damn replacement part.

now the good/better news...

met up with some college friends last night (even if it was my sisters bday :p) and had a blast. of course it wouldnt be complete without mike's ultimate guilt trip, but the 200+ photos on our multiply sites shoulde attest to the mount of categorical fun we had. part two tonight... abangan...

low batt

its a half past 6.. and the office is empty. pretty unusual since by this time AEs would usually still be runnung around trying to get as much done. then again, today has been fairly unusual too... half empty office because everyone was out for meetings and stuff.

ive been low on work-energy the past few days.. im a tad bit more enthusiastic because of the 'new' account, but been low on physical energy. im alwalys sleepy and barely half awake once i get to the shuttle. and every morning, i feel like i havent had sleep even if i had over the 7-hour sleep i usually aim for.

got senti over the weekend. i havent felt that kind of senti in a while... yun lang.

rundown

ive been tamad to blog.. not because nothings been happening or i havent been thinking of anything, but there's just so much going on lately! so im left to reduce everything to a few lines...

INCOMMUNICADO
my phone got cut... forgot to pay for it.. so to those who texted me this last week and i 'ignored' them, i didnt.. i just couldnt reply. pero okay na. im back in circulation.

SOBRIETY
tuesday night was a blast!!! perfect timing to unwind and just release some unspent energy and frustration. haha! well... wholesome photos on my multiply site. :p

YOU ARE THE ONE
yes, i watched this toni-sam flick.. and it wasnt half as bad as i expected. of course hindi mawawala ang mga needlessly prolonged scenes.. but it was okay... as in better than some hollywood movies. plus may mga decent quotable quotes... hits the spot.

TUESDAY TEASE and FRIDAY FLIRT
the past weeks, fridays have been interesting for me. certain people seem to make their presence felt every friday... i find it funny. its a bit exciting i guess. in contrast to my otherwise 'quiet' life. thus the friday flirt was born.
tuesday tease... tuesday night was so much fun.. and well, fun... ill let the photos speak for itself. haha.

broad strokes

been quiet at work. i just sit at my desk and write.

back to attending to some important things that have been done LOOONG ago. hopefully things will start moving towards a good direction from here.

suddenly more aware of a lot of things in the office and the people here. one, things are not what they used to be. and two, they are definitely NOT what they seem on the outside.

hey pearl!

hey pearl!

i dont know if you got my sms on your birthday.. i wasnt sure which number was the landline and which one was for sms.. so i sent my greeting to both.

i hope you're doing well there.. i havent heard from you in a long time. :p i hope you get to read this.. that should tell me if you read my blog or not. haha.

ao anyway, hugs to vess and chris... hope to see you all soon... tell vess ill have the balut and the pastillas waiting for him. :p

talk to you soon!

reading and quitting

been reading again...starting with the 'tuesdays with morrie' books. am now on 'morrie in his own words'. read on my way to work so i dont end up feeling anxious in the morning. work has that effect on me these days. so to neutralize my mind, i read :) smart eh?

i wasnt able to include 'cold turkey (1 and 2)' to my list of TV shows in yesterday's post... ive been watching a lot of that too. and im trying to stay on the healthy route of stopping smoking. :p gosh... this will be a challenge..

better, best days

feeling much better now. caught a virus by surprise and most of last week was a struggle. but ive managed to 'bounce' back after staying in bed the whole weekend... :p which means i watched a lot of TV.

1. Dance Fever
I never thought Jamie King was attractive. But the more I watch the show, the more amazed I am with how much he knows about dance! I thought he was just this top hip hop choreographer, but he knows his stuff. Me and my waekness for guys who can dance... haha.

2. Queen Rania on Oprah
Caught this episode by chance and Im glad I did. Its nice to know women are continuing to make great marks in history. Her guesting was mostly to dispell misconceptions on Arabs and Royalty. Im probably part of the majority who have this mental image of Arabs and Muslims.. and mind you, she looks nothing like what I had in mind! Plus she is NOTHING like the Royalties of England. She kept saying that she realyl doesnt think of herself as a Queen... she's a woman, a mom, a wife... which is true! She monitors what her son watches on TV, she does homework with her kids, and all those normal people stuff. Except, as Oprah pointed out, she does all of this in a palace. Haha!

On a slightly more superficial note, i really loved her hair on the show... :p

3. Skating with the Stars
I find myself watching more and more reality tv shows --- ANTM, Project Runway, Dance Fever, and now Skating with the Stars. I dont know if my repressed frustrations to be a performance artist are creeping up on me or what, but these are my flavors of the month. :p

So Im glad Im on the road to getting better and better... on more levels than one. Of course I still have my anxieties, most of which are work-related. But im dealing with them well... actually kaya ko deadmahin.

sent by a friend

Touched by and Angel
by Maya Angelou

we, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight,
live coiled in shells of lonliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight to liberate us into life

love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure ancient histories of pain
yet if we are bold, love strikes away chains of fear from our souls

we are weaned from our timidity
in the flush of love's light we dare to be brave
and suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be
yet it is only love which sets us free

you are...

... my unicorn

come visit my shores again
whenever you want to be just you
i will welcome you
with tender waves and blue skies

find your way back to me
you will know which roads to take
i will send gentle winds to guide you

until your return
i will wait

the water may wash away our castle in the sand
i will never be the same again
even in your absence, you will always be here

'wag ka sana mag-sawa
baka bukas di ka na magtanong
'di naman sa itinataboy kita
'di lang talaga ako pwede sa oras na iyon
'wag kang mag-alala, kaibigan
kung ano man ang ikinakatakot mo
malamang ay kabaligtaran ng katotohanang
laman ng puso at isip ko
kaunti pa sanang pasensya
di kasi ako sanay magsalita
kaya siguro iba ako magpakita
ng unawa at pagpapahalaga

you may not know it...

but you make me feel so freaking stupid and incompetent.

growing up, growing old and other random stuff

my mom was confined overnight for check up last week. it was quite unexpected but she was feeling sluggish that morning and good she decided to go see her doctor. they decided to keep her for some tests to rule out 'silent heart attack'. anyway, my point is... it was a major reality check for me and my siblings on my mom's mortality. i think we all just figured she'd live a long life like lola. so last week's thing was a clear reminder.

its funny how in times of trouble, you really see the dynamics of our family.
1. tat, my eldest sister, has always been the calm-always-in-control sister. ever reliable.
2. my brother... well, ill have to give it to him cause at least he tries to exert himsef... will hope he keeps trying until he hits it right.
3. the twins are interesting... they always have been... cause they're so opposite. ria wasnt as openly active and involved mainly because her odd hours at work... but i knew she was involved somehow... good thing i had mom's phone with me the whole time. my hunch was correct. she may not be there physically taking charge, but she texts my mom... askinghow she is... makes her laugh... an important contribution. (and now mom is home, ria has hed wisdom teeth taken out... so she keeps her company and drives for her so she doesnt get too bored at home.. sweet... silently sweet.)
4. rina.. more complicated than i am... (haha. imagine that!). last friday, i realized she DOES care about the family... she just doesnt know how. and although she is most detached among us kids ad she's most vocal about her frustrations, its nice to know she still cares.
5. miah. always dependable, but also consistently stuck at work. we stayed overnight with my mom so she's not alone... miah is as reliable as tat... only may sablay factor si miah minsan. haha. i love my sister.

gosh. i TOTALLY forgot about papa. kasi naman, true enough he barely did anything. i sigh everytime i think of all our frustrations that involve him. and thats ll im going to say... FOR NOW.

i actually surprised myself when i ended up being sort of in-charge. it might be because of the AE training i have at work. hahaha. but im pretty happy to find out im fairly responsible comapred to my siblings. i always thought i was the spoied and tamad one in the family because im bunso. haha. growing up reveals a lot about yourself... :)

my mom naman... i think she's having retirement blues... nothing seems to please her... and everything pisses her off. which then causes her to become agitated and the rest follow.. high blood pressure, mahihilo, and masstress... again, im reminded my mom is growing old... and its really time to for me to double time to finish 'growing up'.

----------
im not very good at hiding my emotions or keeping them always in control. a lot of people have told me that im too emotional... im pa-girl.. im weird.. im praning.. melodramatic.. and i admit there is probably more truth to that than id want. so i try and keep my emotions in control. try not to let it get the better of me. try and re-direct my energies into more productive things. its worked most of the time, but lately i think the more i try and ignore them, the more berserk i get. i the long run, all the repression catches up and i just blow up. its good though that often it happens when im home and all the practice in keeping tabs on them helps me just sleep it off.

on the other hand, im not sure if im able to explain them well either. the times when i just really need to let it out, whenever i try to talk about them, people dont get it... and feeling ko people just dont get me. i mean, im happy there are those who accept me... quirks, emotions and all, but im not too sure they REALLY understand me. i say something in an attempt to express myself and more often than not, its taken the wrong way. maybe its because im a heart-girl surrounded by head-people... which might explain somehow why there's a jump somewhere.

hay. i dont know. last night i was thinking maybe its time to let go of this big secret ive been keeping. maybe its what is weighing me down... sinisingil nako for all this time that ive "ignored" it and refused to acknowledge it to the people involved. maybe its time to lay my cards on the table. its a big risk and ive been scared of it. but i know eventually ill have to face it someday.

such a jumpy post. haha. i guess it aptly reflects whats going on in my noggin. :p

may the right opportunities come... and may i be able to tke advantage of each a everyone of them.

----------

with all these 'concerns' that i carry around with me even subconsciously, no wonder im 'trippy'... i get triggered by the smallest and oddest things. oh well, these are the things i have to go through. im sure everyone else has their fair share of baggage.

hormone horror

goodness gracious. when hormones are raging, they RAGE. im not making it as an excuse for my loopiness, but i think with a little over 10 years of experience i can tell when things are defintely hormonal. oh, how they rage tonight.

i had a good day. wore my ultra bright and colorful shirt (one i bought in HK), and the new cuteness bracelet i found last night (apparently they MATCH! well, what do you know!?). was supposed to 'career' some legwork for some reports at work, but ended up spending a more leisurely afternoon with mel.

got SOME work done, which was still good... time spent well. :p

so it was a normal day. nothing out of the ordinary to trigger anything. then, BAM! when in get home, insecurities sink in. damnit. loopy loopy loopy.

starting to really hate it. why cant i just be 'normal' and infinitely less emotional like my other friends?!

let me in

i want to wake up one morning and realize that i have a nook in your life - that i have a position that no one can and ever will be able to fill in. i want to know and hear that im relevant and that i have an impact on you. i want to know that i am to you what you are to me. but thats going to be selfish and bratty of me. to want to get what i want, the way i want it.

a year ago...

ive been forgetful of some things that i confuse what happened on which year. some people have that gift. well, i was never to good in history anyways. anyway, once in a while, i trip and look at whats been posted "a year ago"... sometimes i do it on my blog, sometimes on other blogs.

so i checked my blog today.... this time last year:

1. i was in the middle of my whole ultimate jolog phase (honestly torn if that was my ultimate jolog phase or being with my ex was... hmmmm...). around this time last year, i was getting into this whole Qpids thing. sheesh. WTF was i thinking.

2. met up with mike and mic at 86 quezon... sigh... memories.

3. i was enraged and almost fed up (again) because of this heartless and soul-less person in my work-life. i was able to take on so much those days... all the crap i was put through... (makes me think why i snap more easily these days... but thats a totally different post)

4. mr & mrs smith... ah, yes... my "learning to be comfortable with yourself and appreciate alone time" phase. i was supposed to catch this movie alone but of all the luck in the world, i left my wallet at the office.

5. loopy days. these were the days when things were up and down and up and down and up and down... and all that. its funny. i wrote about vagueness -- id like to think i dont resort to vagueness as often anymore. i wrote about passion for dancing -- i still LOVE to dance... not sure if im as decent a dancer as i was, but i still love it (incidentally, i was watching dance fever on star world last night... i cried. i was so envious of all those peoplewho can just go and follow their passion because there are just so many opportunities for them there!). i wrote about feeling and not feeling -- i still ahve tose days but i keep them under tabs.

i wrote about a lot of things. my point is, some have changed a great deal, and some are same in some ways.

its nice to look back sometimes and remember what you've been through because in a way, i can (in small ways) appreciate how much 'easier' i have it now.

little rascals

time for new nephew photos!!!!





have more photos in my camera.. these are the ones from my phone pa lang. plus i dont want to be biased towards the little ones. :p its just that vins and sevi are the cutest ones right now... you know cuteness reduces with age. :p

post them tomorrow!

bolinao freedom weekend

its always nice to see new places, especially when company is great. the weeks leading up to this weekend were hellish and i was looking forward to the weekend each day.

bolinao rocks! i took over 400 photos.. anton took over 200... God knows how many photos pau took.. these should be proof of how great it was. haha.

cant find the words for it... thus this short post. haha.

when even just a little is too much

extra challenge to function properly at the office these days. its always been a challenge but these days its extra hard. its probably because my mind is just elsewhere in this universe.

i start my days hopeful because i feel better compared to the night before. but as the day progresses, i spiral downwards. and im left feeling confused and overwhelmed with all the things that are buzzing in my head (literally). and this is just work we're talking about. add the personal baggage, and it just overflows! so at the end of the day, i give my last burst of productiveness when everyone has gone home, and phones stop ringing. after which, i drag myself home looking forward to my single piece of royce chocolate, watching TV and falling asleep out of exhaustion.

right now, a few people are left here at the office, and the silence soothes my numb brain. sometimes i feel like i cant take the noise anymore. its not just the literal noise... the music, and the conversations, and all that... its the other kind of NOISE. i dont know how else to explain it. but sometimes i just want to turn it all off.

if i think about it.. and most often i do when people ask me if i have a lot of things to do... i really dont have an insane list of things to do. i mean, ive been through worse and gotten out fairly okay. but lately even with the 'manageable' load, i feel like i cant handle it... like its too much for me already. and i end up either: 1. feeling inadequate, 2. getting angry and bitchy, or 3. no caring and procrastinating.

this couldnt be healthy. i dont know if its just a phase or its "something else". i cant even think about it anymore. my brain just cant take it anymore.

aning

for some reason, as long as im at the office, i get agitated easily... short-tempered... and bitchy.

they say it comes in three's

i was supposed to write something about threes today. but i lost my thoughts i guess. anyway, today marks 3 years of being an official tax-payer. i was looking for a nice photo to post today.. and i found this one in imagebank... funny how apt it is to where i am in my life TODAY.

after three years, where do i want my life to go?

HK headache

hongkong weekend was good... wasnt as good as the last time i was there, but it had its highlights. im left with a pounding headache now... lack of sleep i assume... :p

corner teahouse: no HK trip will ever be complete without at least a meal here. i tried the milk tea this time and i loved it... no offense to Chowking, but their nai cha is nothing near the one in that tea house. this year, my dinner here was the best one i had... in fact, mc donald's was the next most decent meal i had.

muji: i passed out on buying stuff here last time i was in HK... this year, i bought some pero kulang pa rin! take me back to muji!

disney: aka "the happiest place on earth".. at least i can say ive been to one. space mountain was a blast... especially with anton shouting "ayoko naaaaa" beside me... cant wait to go to the better ones... the one in HK was small daw. but still i felt like i was going to cry... disney is disney! next time talaga aabutan ko na fireworks.

royce: my current indulgence... these are to die for... best tasting chocolates ive had so far. can wait to have my single piece tonight! im definitely being selfish about this... hahaha.

photos: not to be cheesy.. alright, i will. i dont think i would have as much fun moments in HK if not for the people i was with. awww...! even shenzhen was a bit bearable because of you guys... even if i was being a total bitch and brat. haha. bili tayo ng maraming platooooooooooo!

photos on my multiply account!

im so looking forward to our next trip... hahaha. travel whore.

up and down the hill

the past few weeks at work have really been a burden for me. and it seems my friday to sunday was a clear signal of it.

FRIDAY - enraged, not engaged
ive never felt more violent in my life before this day. i was really on a war freak mode... from that mark tan guy, to stupid talent agents, to nagging clients. i literally wanted to break someone's face. needless to say, i was looking forward to going home so my weekend can finally begin.

walking home from greenbelt 1 (i bought mrs fields as pasalubong for sam), i passed through segafredo and saw my college girl friends. long and politically correct story short, i stayed with them up to 11-ish. i have to be honest and say i felt bad the first few minutes since i really was looking forward to going home and hiding under my blanket. but the night turned out quite a blessing. i was half awake for most of it, but i went home resolved ill see these girls more often... im not saying ill be available each and everytime, but just more often. :p

SATURDAY - sick to the stomach
i dont want to go into the loser details. but my dearest friends would know how sorry this day was for me. for my other dearest friends who dont know the whole story yet, i probably havent seen you yet to ba able to tell you about it.

just some highlights:
1. when someone says someone is from a certain place, it may mean that he just lives there and he's actually from some other country. always ask.
2. i can say that based on first hand experience, Orkies (i dare not put the real nationality here so i dont end up offending anyone.. im not racist) are potentially obnoxious weirdos.
3. i feel so stupid for being tricked into a blind date... and offended for being set up with HIM. chances of me letting this happen again is close to none.
4. the silver lining was supposed to be meeting 'real' guys by the end of the day... BUT as my sorry fate has it for that day, i ended it feeling suddenly sick to my stomach, cold sweat, dizzy spell, and throwing up in my driveway (at 6pm)
5. pat saved my ass twice that day. thank you. i hope you get his number... ive asked for help from cha.

SUNDAY - invalid
spent today in bed. couldnt eat anything other than home made lugaw or rice swimming in sabaw.

random and ironic

Weird things have been happening… some funny, some not so…

Quick list:

1. New Zealand - I've totally forgotten that mom mentioned about a nephew of one of her kumare's being here for vacation. They were supposed to introduce me to him so he can have pinoy friends his age and in case he comes back he has people to take him around. So today, while i was in the middle of being shocked by the chaos that was unraveling before me, i got this really odd text message from my mom that equaled a punch line in one of those toilet humor pinoy comedy movies. Here’s her text: "Tere, kelan ba nandyan si angel, kasi aalis na si Cris sa sunday. pwede ba mag-meet sila, kasama tayo, then alis kahit merienda or tonight. Ikaw bahala. Meet lang naman. --- Angel, text from tita Cecille. Guy from New Zealand. Pwede ka tomorrow merienda kasi eviction night tom." there are sooo many things that make me laugh about that text. One, sasama pa talaga sila ni tita cecille... CHAPERONE?!?! Two, my mom has so much concern for missing the PBB teen edition eviction night, more than if she thinks ill be comfortable with this whole shenanigan. Three, the whole thing is funny... it just is.

So when my mom called, I wasn’t really listening to what she was saying… so I could go back to work, I just said yes to get it over and done with. So that’s that. Tomorrow, I will gain a new friend.

2. Contact lens – im due for an eye check up soon. My vision is blurry from all the computer work I've been doing so I've been wearing my glasses. I got a message from my client that was so out of this world; I had to read it over several times to be sure. Something about she noticed I was wearing glasses and that they (she and her husband who happens to be the mktg head) had extra contact lenses at home because their grade kept going up… she was thinking they could be of use to me. WHAT THE… where did that come from? Gosh. Possibly THE weirdest message I’ve gotten in my life.

3. Ad agency caller – for some (also) unknown reason, I’ve been getting calls from people who say that they were referred to call me by the company I service about things that I have no knowledge of. Funniest one I’ve had was from this girl (totally regret not writing down her company name) asking for the details of the marketing head of my client because they wanted to offer their services to them. I was thinking that they might be a promo agency or something like that so I asked to be sure. GOLLY. I was so not prepared for the answer I got. Apparently, she’s from a creative agency… exactly like the office I work for. It was so ironic that I couldn’t help but tell her that unless I wanted to lose my job, I don’t think I should give her any of the information she’s asking for because we’re the creative agency servicing the account. Out of this world!

4. Standard chartered – im on the hunt for this guy named MARK TAN… he’s an agent from standard chartered. If ever you get a call from him… please get his contact information for me. Im willing to pay for the info.

This guy dooped me into sending my ID to him to prove that he was able to contact me for the delivery of my gold card that is with him (he claimed that he’s from the releasing department). Since the card was ready and available, I agreed to have it delivered and intended to cancel it as soon as I got it. Shocking area. I got another message a few days age from standard chartered that ‘my application was denied’. RAGE. Never in my life would I apply for another card simply because im happy with the one I have right now and I already have an emergency one. Im still pretty enraged by this so I wont go through writing down the reasons why im angry. But I SWEAR ill write every damn executive in standard chartered and I WILL get his ass fired.

5. GraBe – some coincidences are freaky but I can’t help but smile about them either. With all the crap happening, these things are well appreciated. Some people have perfect timing. Its like they KNOW when they’re being talked about or thought of. Vagueness.

shower me with some luck

I may have lost physical weight, but everything else about me seems so heavy these days. I don't know if it's because i get too affected with things, or things are really extra tough right now, or maybe both.

Im alone here in our area coz everyone is on lunch break and things are quiet... but the things i have to do keep breaking that silence... my mind is buzzing with all the things I have to do, preparations i have to make, and all that crap.

Im dumbstruck and totally caught off guard by the way things are turning out. Its like the world is conspiring against me.. Well, not "ME personally", but "me at work". I get the weirdest problems... like those that shouldn’t even be problems. Argh. Hate it. Alas, i have no choice but to keep moving (heavy head, heart and all), just to get things done and in the hopes that ill suddenly realize that all my problems have been fixed. Things are so shitty right now that i dont even have it in me to cry out of frustration as i most often would do just to release some tension. Im numb... tired, bitchy and numb. Not even the thought of the upcoming trip has any effect on me.

Is God telling me to stay? Or is He reminding me of how much i want and should go? With the amount of things im supposed to do, i dont think ill be able to make time to even make things happen for myself. Im a prisoner of my work... and i cant do anything about it. (Well, of course there's always something i can do about it, but those things aren’t always the right things to do.)

Good thing, there are still moments where i can be in a brighter mood. Small things. Maybe small reminders that things are bad but there are still other things that are still good going on with me. So if the cliché that says, "good things happen to good people" are true, does this mean im a little good? Fartness. I think to highly of myself!

here comes the rain

its raining. i havent seen the sun yet. haha. i welcome the cooler climate in contrast to the scorching heat we've been having for some time now. on the other hand, its such a hassle to move around with everything wet.. ill have to keep some of my shoes for dry-er days. :)

rainy season still reminds me of going back to school... up to now, i still feel like tomorrow its the first day of school again in spcp. im not happy about it. hahaha. nako, bata pa pala ako, angsty na. hahaha.

crash course update

my weekend was great. stark contrast to the lugmok week that was. :)

saturday was a day of pampering and errands... orf course pampering meant spending, but it was worth it.
1. drove sam to his tutor. i dont drive as slow anymore.. but then that might be because i was under pressure kasi sam woke up late.
2. had my once a month 'usual' appointment at CANS BF
3. paid my credit card. feels grat na malaki nang nabawas ko. almost there.
4. mini-grocery and vitamins shopping. haha.
5. early dinner at cibo... LOOOOVE the ensalada di mare.
6. 4 hour spa getaway! indian ayurvedic chuva... just what i needed. and thai foot massage... which i barely noticed since mel and i were chatting away. hahaha.

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i never got to finish this post. work came like this mean tsunami... literally came out of know where. a lot has happened since my pampered weekend and thought are speedracing in my head along with the things i have to do for work.

1. i need new clothes. ive always thought clothes are an investment... lalo na for a single girl like me. so i try not to be scrooge-ey about it all the time. so now that ive lost weight (snaps for me!), i was surprised to realize that 90% of my pants dont fit me anymore. panic buying last monday in Glorietta... got pissed coz i was expecting shoppig to be fun now since i assumed most clothes would fit me but when i was store hoppiong, i STILL couldnt find something that fit. haaaaaay. na-bugnot tuloy ako to the max ever. so slowly but sutrely, i will re-build my wardrobe. :p perfect excuse to shop: gain or lose weight!

2. enough with the delaying tactics. ive had this one item on my to-do list for over a year but i admit, i keep putting it off for some other day... any day than now. enough is enough. sabi nga nila: time to take the bull by its horns. i cant complain as often as i do and not do anything naman about it --- because i CAN do something about it. im nervous and excited. haha. wala pa nga e!

3. my favorite time of the day is when i know im going home. i used to be out of the house a lot... if i had it my way, id be home just to sleep. but ive learned to love being home. its become my refuge of sorts... :) looking forward to going home again later!

4. NMFEO. im reminded that some things just arent meant to be. ill admit that saddens me, but thats something beyond my control. ill still have EMs, but at least my more lucid moments have better perspective of things. ang lungkot. id like to allow myself to hope pa rin, but that only sets myself up for disappointment. i deserve better thatn to dig my own grave. haha. so.... who's next?!

5. PRESSURE! what i hate most about my job is that people seem to over expect things from AEs. excuse me. tao rin kami. we can only do so much at a time. hay. talk about feeling taken for granted. i didnt even have time to get off my seat and cry a bit for feeling bad! i couldnt waste that time..! imagine... hahaha. i think i remember at least 2 entries here where ive been ranting about the disadvantages of my job. haha. thats really not a great sign. but i do what i have to do. work is work. maiyak man ako out of frustration, as long as i keep my fingers typing, my head thinking ang my feet moving, things will eventually get done.

just some of the things i was able to take note of on my phone... ive been so busy at work that i usually get think of all the things i want to write here when im on my way home already. haha.

lugmok

its been over a week since i got back to work.. and its only now that ive really been able to write anything. the amount of things that have poured in for everyone at the office is crazy. i guess my timing for vacation was perfect afterall. more about work later... so what has changed for me since i got back?

aside from being "rested", i think i can honestly say i can think clearly now in contrast to the bleak mind i had prior to me hiatus.im a bit more sure now of where i should take my life and when to make them. for now, a lot of preparations are underway... calls here and there... getting in touch with old friends... you know, stuff. of course there are still moments where i feel confused and maybe a bit scared, but those moments dont last longer than a day.

on this particualr personal concern, i feel like im okay. i feel like ive hurdled the worst... well, at least i hope i have. it actually came as a surprise. initially i was still 'nakikiramdam' if thing have or havent changed the way i hoped they would. in the short time that ive been observing, i was slowly getting the feeling that they have changed (almost) exactly the way i wanted them to... wasnt sure i was happy about it... felt a bit strange more than anything. but i wasnt concluding anything just yet. who knows if ive only managed to supress things and eventually the shocking and almost sad truth might reveal itself. so i take it one day at a time. so far, ive had more good days than bad. good job! ive decided not to have much concsious thinking about it... i tend to over-analyze and be melodramatic when i think too much.

the past few days (maybe weeks), ive been finding it hard to fall asleep... id usually end up sleeping 2am or later than that... if not, id fall asleep but wake up every hour. so, this week has been bad. id be ultra mega groggy here at work and by some reason be wide awake as soon as i get home. bad, bad, bad. i dont think it would look right for someone who just came from a 2-week break to be sleepy everyday at work on her second week back. everyone has their own theories on why im turning into an insomniac: lack of nutrition because "i havent been eating healthy", my TV addiction, i keep thinking about 'someone', etc etc etc. whaever it is, im going to need to be energetic by next week.

vins and sam are back at the house. i just love taking care of those two.. such sweet kids... most of the time. haha. looking forward to more 'sleepovers' with them this summer. :p

now about work... where do i begin? haha. its really a bad combination for me to have SOOOOOO much stuff to do, and to lack sleep. the new things to do come as fast as when i accomplish my existing list. PLUS! despite having an OJT around to help, i cant pass on much to her... not with all the confidential and critical items on my list.

which reminds me... you know how some people are consistently 'malas' with some things? like some people seem to always lose or break things, some seem to attract the same kind of guys... i, on the other hand, seem to be 'malas' with contracts these days... one problem after another!!!! why me?! i hope this is just a coincidence or at most a temporary thing. goodness gracious.

time to take a break... i know i dont deserve a break given all the urgent things on my list, but im just too damn sleepy right now.

DAY 16: dear angel

woke up at 6am for my 2-hr class today. felt slightly groggy since im really not used to waking up around that time. after a while i started feeling excited... 2 whole hours of driving. haha. dweeb. yun nga lang, i was in for a MAJOR disappointment. the schedules got mixed up and i waited for 45 mins for mang jolly. yun pala iba naka-sked. bummer.

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dear angel,

its been two weeks. you got to rest and be lazy, just as you wanted. you got to study how to drive, you fixed your SSS, updated your resume, gave some sort of order to your new room, majorly bonded with ana and your mom, hopefully look like you lost enough weight, and learned sooo many things. i guess your vacation was a success in its own right.

so its back to work with you. remember the things you thought of, ah.
work is just work --- dont take it personally, but dont slack off like you used to. just keep on going... be focused but dont forget to enjoy and reward yourself.
being in your mid-20s means you have to start being in control more.
give yourself and others enough space. if you're always around, people might not realize your value. its okay to say no or not to exert super effort to help.
love yourself and you will be loved. dont be afraid to go out on a limb once in a while. dont be afraid to meet new people.
make a list of people and things you value and always show your appreciation.
its okay to take a break, everyone deserves a break... never EVER be guilty for taking a break...
always be the best at what you do... and you know all the rest... :)

starting tomorrow, i hope people will see a new you. happier. less emotional. more in control of herself. and much more responsible. remember: the best is yet to come.

ay, enough serious talk! haha. just go and do that thing you do.

day 15

emotional day. but ended with a lot of good realizations and learnings. at least i got to 'bond' a little with my eldest sister. ay nako... im 24, and i am reminded that there are so many of life's lessons i have yet to learn... and they dont get easier... level up today. but i feel better now. driving cured my worried soul.

it felt great driving today. as in naiwan ko lahat ng bumabagabag sa akin kaninang umaga. looking forward to tomorrow... even if i start at 7am, i know it will be great. :)

friday the 14th

getting my SSS id was a far more pleasant experience than going to LTO. first, at least the waiting area is airconditioned. second, the people around me didnt unnerve me. and lastly, the system was clearer... sa LTO parang ni-raraffle ata ang order dun e!

i had fun people watching at SSS.. there was this chinoy lady with her daughter who was super impatient. she kept approaching people demanding na mauna sya, going into peoples offices, following people around, peeking at the computer (which was busted at some point) where they process applications. funny to watch her... but eventually she realized na first come first serve... unless senior citizen. thanks to her, di ako nainip at all.

had lunch with kris... i missed that girl! she's going to be on maternity leave soon... so im extra happy i got to have lunch with her para chikahan kami. :p have a safe CS kris!

after lunch i had my hair cut... im happy with how it came out. at least its not the boring one length hair ive always had whenever my hair was long. hehe.

so this is it... my last weekend to rest. of course there will be other weekends but you get what i mean. ive no regrets on how my vacation went. got to spend tons of time with my mom and my cousin. :)

back to work in 2 days!

13: wake up call

easing myself back into work mode... i dont want to shock myself come monday. :p

took a few calls related to work... and im unsure if maybe some people might think i took too long of a break. 2 weeks isnt long. i mean technically its just 8 days if you dont count the holidays for holy week and weekends. and besides, i KNOW i deserve the break. i dont even remember when my last real vacation was! ay nako, frustrates me sometimes how some people seem to rarely have anything nice, positive or optimistic to say... especially behind other people's backs. i think its called crab mentality. *sigh*

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today was a quick day. worked real quick in the morning... just phone calls, really. then off to driving. mang jolly was his usual self. (ive known him for an hour... not much basis, i know) i got to drive along alabang zapote, casimiro, through evacom, then out sucat towards SM, then made a u-turn to go back towards lopez, then basically drove around sucat. 1hour is really bitin. just when im about to really get a hang of things, tapos na... so im getting double classes on sunday. :D tapang! i woder where he'll take me. haha!

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vins dropped by to visit today while sam was at reading tutor. such a funny kid. he was playing hide and seek with lolo when guama (my mom) told him to hide in her cabinet... so she did... my speculation on how things went is that he was so into hiding (we always play hide and seek with them when they're here.... not too easy for full grown titas) that he decided to hold his pee until lolo finds him. of course no kid would want to be found because he stepped out of his hiding place. so anyway, lolo practically shocked him when he found vins kasi sabay sigaw para magulat yung bata. no wonder vins didnt seem to happy to have been found. usually he'd be laughing and jumping around. this time, when lolo opened the cabinet doors, he just sat there and looked at lolo. then he said: 'i made wee wee...'

syempre tita ganda (my cousin...before anyone violently objects), guama and lolo laughed... so he laughed at himself too. siguro he got scared na mapagalitan for peeing in his shorts. but when the oldies laughed, he knew he was safe. but thats not the end of it... when guama was giving him a bath, he refused to use the shower... he wanted the bidet. golly, my cute nephew tooka bath using the bidet in my mom's bathroom. silly kid talaga, vinsy! haaaaay.

DAY 11 and 12 of (you know how many)

APRIL 18, 2006:
i dont remember what i did that day. weird. i think i watched 'when harry met sally'... and 3/4 of 'lost in translation'... otherwise i probably spent the day at home with my mom and my cousin. some people mightthink its sayang... but i enjoy laid back days. days when i can rest my head and my heart.

APRIL 19, 2006:
driving today was fun. i was getting anxious days before because i was scared that id find out that i sucked at driving. the last thing i want is for people to say 'i drive like a girl'. so far, i think im doing well... car died 3 times... and only because i didnt think id be driving around other cars as early as my first day, so i was a bit extra tense. but we basically drove around the village... and a small part of alabang-zapote and sucat.

but!!! claps and snaps for me. mang jolly said i drive better than the other guys (as in male) he's been teaching... i learn fast daw. i dont think he said that just to be nice... trust me... mang jolly does NOT look like the type to patronize people.

so tomorrow is another day. according to the curriculum (which i assume mang jolly has totally disregarded), tomorrow is backing up and something... hahaha. bahala na. im just glad i dont suck at driving... so far.

i think ill have my picture taken with mang jolly when i finish.. hahaha. just so you know who to hunt down if my driving sucks. hahahaha.

9th and 10th

i wasnt able to write yesterday... i think my mind was too tired. haha. i basically spent easter 'mending'... i guess i realize that some fears arent worth fearing afterall. and all i can really say is: thank you so much.

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today i spent in LTO. got my students permit. and boy was than an experience. im not going to whine about it, but lets just say i now know why its just so much more easier and worth it to just pay someone just to fast track your life. haha. LTO today, SSS on friday. ha!

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started to feel bored today... my original plan to just kick back and bum at home in between gym and driving isnt going to be a good idea for long. but lets see what tomorrow brings me.

my mom has been extra 'needy' lately... i think she really appreciates how much time im spending here at home. well, that was one of the reasons i didnt fill up my days on leave. :)

DAY 8 of 16

i dont know if its because ive been counting the days that got me to this point where i realize, im halfway through my mini-vacation. i dont think i mind. im not exactly looking forward to going back to work, but i do feel a bit refreshed and rested. hehe.

i have a few things still on my list to do though... i think i have enough time... let's see:

[ ] fix my stuff - scheduled to sort my clothes tomorrow (easter)

[ ] learn to drive - im starting on monday. haha. say a little prayer for me!

[ ] fix my SSS id - scheduled for friday morning... i have this week to double check on the things i need for it.

[x] play surrogate mother to sam - he's not staying over this week... so i dont think ill be able to do this. such a busy boy! he has art class, swimming class, AND reading tutor. isnt summer supposed to be a break from studying?! haha.

[ ] fix my resume - doing this ne tonight... i better finish tonight too! ill check this later when i finish.

[/] GYM GYM GYM - been going to the gym every chance i get. yung nga lang the past few days, i havent been feeling well... no, im not making excuses... im really not well.

[/] read and be intelligent again - few pages here and there, but ive been watching a lot of docus lately... and watching MTV... and playing sudoku... and so on, and so forth... i dont want to think im boring anymore. haha.

so far, i have everything planned this week! i think coz its because its holy week that i wanted to spend time with my family, and i spent the week really resting.. save for gym.

so here's to a hectic week!

DAY 7 of 16: sudoku!!!

my cousin has been going to our house eversince she was asked to stay in bed. and she's been busy with these puzzles... with numbers. initially i thought that they were like number squares where sums are involved.. math with logic. although i DO like logic puzzles (they were my favorite in entrance exams or IQ tests), but MATH is probably holds the exact opposite. i was happy to find out it didnt involve math at all! its kinda hard to explain, but you might want to google it.. its SUDOKU. cool thing to keep you busy without wearing out your brain.

long story short, i got hooked on it... even dared to try higher levels. happy naman ako that i finished 2 puzzles with the second to the highest difficulties in the book. makes me feel a bit smarter. haha. exercise oter parts of my brain. sad thing is, they dont sell cheap sudoku books here... not the paperback type.

hay. so, if anyone out there reading this knows where i can get paperback suboku books, my mom, my cousin and i will be eternally gratefull if you'd let me know. or if you could buy me some and ill just pay you back. :p (oo, nananawagan na ako... haha!)

for now, ill have to keep my eyes open for them each time i enter a bookstore.

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who catches a cold when its THIS hot in manila?!?!?!?

still feeling kinda sick. i think it might be a teeny tiny asthma attack. i should really stop keeping the fan aimed at me all night.. no matter how hot it is here. damn beach weather... useless to me... im not even going to the beach! so its water and naps for me... im staying away from carbo to somehow offset my not being able to go to the gym. haaay. just when i was gaining momentum. maybe tomorrow ill feel better and be able to go back. fingers crossed!

DAY 6 of 15: sick stupid

spent the day at home. not feeling too well. which is odd because ive been on vacation, relaxing, getting more than enough sleep, eating healthy andworking out. ive been healthy and i might get sick?!

every holyweek, as long as im home, mom and i always catch the 7th heaven marathon on studio23. this year, its 9-episodes of the gilmore girls.yipee. of course we ended up feeling bitin. haha.

but i realized why i like the show... its humor. everyone is sointelligent and square in their own unique way. conversations are fast and youhave to be quick and paying attetion for you to catch the punchlines. i love the wit!

i hope there's more tomorrow!

its still damn hot, by the way.

DAY 5 of 16

any vacation of mine would not be complete withour a healthy amount of procrastination. which is essentially what happened today. haha.

i had 2 things planned out for my day: enroll at driving school, and gym. i ditched gym. too hot to move man. i dont feel too bad about it though. i dont want to over work out myself. but i dont want to waste the opportunity i have naman while im on leave.

a few people have been interrogating me on my sudden 'hunger' and urgency to lose weight. actually im just taking it more seriously now. ive been trying to lose weight eversince i realized i gained so much... thank you stretchmarks! pero ive never taken it seriously. laging sige, ill diet tomorrow, or ill gym some other time. now its time to take myself seriously. :P

so while i get the idea that some people think this is a streak of vanity, maybe it is. but its not an obsession. today is a perfect example... if i were obsessed, i wouldve stayed at the gym the whole day. haha.

oh and about my deadline.. its just a benchmark. nothing to it. just so may time frame for my goals.. im sure when i get tehre, a new deadline will be set. and hey, nothing wrong with wanting to look decently hot in a bikini for summer, right?! i may not have plans to go to the beach yet, but you never know.... :p id rahter be safe and thinner thatn sorry and pudgy. hahahaha.

DAY 4 of 16

i spent the night at my sister's house... got there around 3am. fell asleep feeling a bit down. iba talaga maka-lungkot whe its a friend you love so much that's involved... BUT! i was happy to wake up to my nephews... well, up until justin started giving me the attitude... then my tita instincts flared.

anyway, what was most glaring about my morning was my 'kuya' and i were talking about how his son is turning 10 in july... how time flies. in a few years, may girlfriend na siguro sya. haaaaay! whats funny is kuya shared that yun panganay pala nya nahuli na nung mga pinsan playing with himself. natawa ako. that just shows he's entering that age. then kuya surpassed his first revelation and said that the boys (vins included... yes, sinama pa nila yung 4-year old) were caught watching porn. weeeeeell, i guess the daddies weren't too good in hiding their stuff! hahaha. some people might be bothered by this, but for some reason im not. maybe its because i know its just a phase and kuya came from a very male family (5 silang boys, and 5 girls... but of all the apos ni ama, 2 lang ang girl... mega palaban pa!) so this will be handled well. id really rather na di na sana isinama si vins kasi di naman nya naiintindihan pa yun, pero tapos na rin e. kayang kaya na ni kuya yan! boys....

went to my 2nd cosmic class today. stayed around 30 minutes. not bad. better than my 20 minutes last sunday. i felt great after the class... ibang klase yung pawis. i felt tired but energized. haha. mel was right when she said id love cosmic. :p thanks for the reco mel! tomorrow again... yahoo!

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i dont know what its like to lose a parent --- both my parents are still alive.
i dont know what its like to have to move out of the house you grew up in and have so much precious memories in --- ive had the same address for over 24 years.

being with you on the street like that breaks me apart. i had no idea it was this big for you. when i saw you silently wiping away your tears, maybe even in the hopes that i wouldnt notice, and you were just looking... as if to see through the walls and give light to show everything that this place means to you, i couldnt think of anything to say. i guess i was overwhelmed when i realized what an immense thing you are going through. you looked like you might have lost the most precious thing to you, next to your very own life. i dont think you've been defeated. now i admire you more for for the strength that you show.. you push and push on with life.

i hope that even if i didnt manage to say anything comforting (i might have even said all the wrong things), i hope you heard everything i wanted, but could not find the words to say when i hugged you. i could have hugged you all night if it meant giving you peace and more strength to continue with what you are doing.

i love you, friend. i really do. and i know you know that. im just here for you because i know at this point, given how hard it must be to be in your shoes, you need your space and you'll give me a call in case you need company. i know you miss him more than anything, im sure he misses you guys just as much. you and your family will be in my prayers.

DAY 3 of 16: hot dang!

HOT. im starting to think being at work is better than this... at least its cooler in the office.

had major changes in plans today. had everything ironed out pa naman. but because i love mike, and i owe him a lot for not going to his gigs, i rearranged my life. ill be seeing mic, mike and hopefully karlo tonight... im excited. i havent been able to bug them much for quit some time. yay!!!!

ill blog about it late or tomorrow... wait for my updates! for now, im off to resume my position in front of my fan. dang its HOT!

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meeting up with mic and mike tonight. im happy. i havent seen them for a while. and to be honest i miss them. i know its also my fault we dont get to see each other much, but its really hard for me to move around kasi i commute home here to the south. since im on leave, i willingly re-arranged my life to see mic and mike. sayang karlo, wala ka ulit. mike may think my skipping gym and postponing my personal errands are small things, but it really was an effort. im taking time to fix some fundamentals in my life... and this is something i should have done long ago. i even wrote everything i have planned on my planner. kadiri no? but my point is, i love these guys enough to ditch everything, commute all the way to ortigas (heavy gym bag and all.. in my outfit)... just to spend a few hours with them.

incidentally, while deciding on what to do with my hair, i got a picture of me na ang payat ko... gusto ko ganyan ako ka-payat. i got my upper body only and honestly, i dont think any magic angle can make my hips and legs look this thin. hahaha. i want to be THIS THIN... (but my head looks kinda big in the photo no?)



ive never really been a music person... or any 'person' for that matter. i was telling mel nga nung sunday na napa-isip ako what conversational interests i have... im interested in many things in small ways. and i realized im not interested as in hardcore interested in anything worth talking about. im not that into music, not that into food or gadgets, or movies, or books, or what-have-not. i guess the closest i can get would be dance... but thats mostly cheerdance.. which isnt too popular here either. haha. im not depressed about it or anything. i just think now that i might need to exert effort to know things to find my interest. read books, watch movies, listen to music, surf the net... there must be more to me thatn just pinoy showbiz. :p

but i digress from my kwento... what was i saying... AH! im not that into music...

brief background... mic. mike and karlo were in a band together back in college. and i was their loyal friend who would not miss any of their performances. haha. wat very little i know about non-baduy and more sofisticated/tasteful/intelligent music, i learned from them. i earned to love the beatles because of them (before that, the beatles were just and old band to me.. well, yeah, i was familiar with their songs, but not to the point that i work fast when i listen to them) ... basta.. they were my musically inclined (and movie loving) friends. and i loved learning these things from them.

too bad i dont get to hear these guys play anymore... sige na mike, tugtog kayo ulit sa bday ko... for old times sake... pleeeeease? mic, kanta na ka ulit... for me? pleeeease? im giving you 8 months to say yes. :p

sabi ko brief background lang e! so we met up to hear ledh (gosh, not sure about the spelling of her name) perform. and to sum up my evening, grabe. the night went from ear breaking loud rock (nagkahilaan lang ata ang front act), to jazzy, to r&b na acid jazz (according to mike and mic, i honestly have no idea how to classify these things), to hiphop, to electronic trance music. haha. what a night... crash course ba sa music? but anyway, ledh and pjaz were good.. and chili tees (not sure about the spelling again) were good too... of course as you know, im no expert. but i enjoyed listening to them.

so that sums up my gimik night with the fab 4 (well, 3 lang kami)

mike! ill be waiting for your email before i upload our photos here... para naman your guwapo face can grace my blog. :) naks, is this the time to say crush din kita nung college?! but only for a week though. ah yeah! i told you na nga pala... hehehe. so quits na tayo. crush mo ako in just one photo, and ikaw crush ko for a week. yebah!

DAY 2 of 16: feeling refreshed

i had no plans today. as in NOTHING planned. nothing except to tag along with mel. i havent been able to do that for a long time --- i mind, and i dont mind that i havent at the same time, haha.

so anyway, getting out of bed was a struggle as its been the past days... but i had enough time to fix my stuff a bit, take a bath, and curl my hair. (im sure you know ive always wanted to have long locks with big curls.. too bad it doesnt look as good on me.) now that took time and patience. ended up okay i guess... you be the judge.

item #1 - occular at the orchard
quick errand for mel. but the fresh air was a welcomed change. iba talaga hangin sa south!

item #2 - lunch at gourdo's the fort
yummy pasta and 4-cheese pizza. talk about carbo loading. but this was also refreshing since ive been craving for good food to reward myself for surviving my ad reviews.

item #3 - gym
i tried cosmic cycling for the first time. grabe. talk about intense work out!!! last time tumulo pawis ko that way was during training pa sa Blue Eagle Gym... sarap. although i managed only 25 minutes of it, im looking forward to building up endurance for it. me and my athletic competitiveness. haha.

item #4 - back to orchard
hehe. mel left her license so we drove back. yun lang. haha.

item #5 - 8pm mass
i only have enough time to write this before i head to hear mass.. im happy i havent missed sunday mass since Christmas. thats an improvement...! maybe ill write about that some more some other time. :p

overall it was a refreshing day. today was mega hot, but in genereal i didnt mind much. just happy i got to do stuff i dont usually do or i havent done in a loooooooong time. :)

so anyway, time to have quick and really small dinner then mass! ta-tah!

DAY 1 of 16

woke up past 10 today... typical saturday. but today is supposed to be my planning day. what would i want to accomplish at the end of 2 weeks. goal setting day. how stuck up for someone on vacation right?

its still pretty early in the day... plenty of time to decide how to make use of my vacation.

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im glad i barely left any pending things at work. its so hard to not be at work knowing there are things i left for my boss to do... i dont like having other people do my job. whatever i left to be done, are small and non-urgent stuff.

i can have my long ang guilt-free vacation now.

April 6, 2006

watched Ice Age 2 at greenbelt... what a great idea! i loved it. makes me think im really a little girl pa. haha. movies i enjoy: ice age 1 and 2, madagascar, shrek 1 and 2... im such a kid.

anyway, i saw my college teacher there at the cinema... hiya lang ako to approach her coz i dont think she'd remember me. so, sorry ms cherrie pinpin for not saying hello. :p

i guess im not feeling too bad i didnt gym AGAIN, but i hope ill be able to haul my ass there more ofter during my vacation.

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on my way home there were two fairly cute guys waiting in line at the shuttle station. too bad my sister took so long to get there and i wasnt able to get on teh same van as they did. :p sayang.. they were stealing looks pa naman. hahaha. well, something to look forward to when going to the shuttle! malay mo di ba?!

i want to learn how to drive and dive

haaaaay. ive been bitten by the vacation bug. kung anu-ano na iniisip ko.

ive been surfing for vacation spots.. without any intention of leaving naman.
ive been canvassing for driving school... i hope i can manage it.
ive been blog hopping... wala lang chismosa ako e. hahaha.

now i want to learn how to dive. ive always been a daughter of the sea. takot lang ako sa malalim. takot kasi ako makagat ng pating and i dont trust my swimming skills kasi mabilis ako mapagod.. its complicated. haha. but ive always been interested to elarn how to dive. feeling ko ill love it. i mean who wouldnt?!

i was in powerbooks last saturday and i wanted to hoard all the lonely planet books!!! each and every single one.

haaaay... one step at a time. ill get my list done eventually. :)

bakasyon naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

sleepy head on FL

ive been really sleepy in the afternoons. i think this really means i need a break.

im really not the type of person who would regularly go on vacation leaves, mainly because my idea of a VL is an out-of-town trip where i can get intense R&R. however, to do that, i need to spend... and i dont have that kind of money.

needless to say, i now have too many VLs... thats why im forcing myself to go on leave. forced leave --- FL. haha. but im not going anywhere. im staying home. get some personal errands done --- and be a total slob. haha. two weeks. that should be enough rest for my noggin.

things i plan to do (aside from rest):
1. fix my stuff... i havent finished moving into my new room
2. learn to drive... looks like i found one thats affordable enough. i just hope im not stupid enough to take to long to learn. hahaha.
3. fix my SSS id... ive been delaying this coz i wanted to have long hair in my picture (vain, i know.. but if i have to stare at it and use it for a really long time, i might as well look nice) haha. i would want to wait until im thin na (im still cheeky), but that might never happen. haha.
4. play surrogate mother to sam. he's staying over for most days of summer. he has tutor near the house and i really wouldnt want to tire my mom and have her bring him back and forth to the tutor.. so as long as im home, i have a 8-yr old son. :)
5. fix my resume. needs updating. wala lang. im home na rin lang e di fix it na. haha.
6. GYM GYM GYM. im determined to majorly lose weight... and that aint going to happen if i dont get teh blood moving. hahaha.
7. read and be intelligent again. ive been feeling extra stupid lately... and i hate it. i want to feel smart like i used to back in college. so its back to my books... im undecided what ill be reading about. so if you guys have any suggestions, lets hear them!


so here's to my last few days of sleepiness... i hope i get everything done.