i spent the night at my sister's house... got there around 3am. fell asleep feeling a bit down. iba talaga maka-lungkot whe its a friend you love so much that's involved... BUT! i was happy to wake up to my nephews... well, up until justin started giving me the attitude... then my tita instincts flared.
anyway, what was most glaring about my morning was my 'kuya' and i were talking about how his son is turning 10 in july... how time flies. in a few years, may girlfriend na siguro sya. haaaaay! whats funny is kuya shared that yun panganay pala nya nahuli na nung mga pinsan playing with himself. natawa ako. that just shows he's entering that age. then kuya surpassed his first revelation and said that the boys (vins included... yes, sinama pa nila yung 4-year old) were caught watching porn. weeeeeell, i guess the daddies weren't too good in hiding their stuff! hahaha. some people might be bothered by this, but for some reason im not. maybe its because i know its just a phase and kuya came from a very male family (5 silang boys, and 5 girls... but of all the apos ni ama, 2 lang ang girl... mega palaban pa!) so this will be handled well. id really rather na di na sana isinama si vins kasi di naman nya naiintindihan pa yun, pero tapos na rin e. kayang kaya na ni kuya yan! boys....
went to my 2nd cosmic class today. stayed around 30 minutes. not bad. better than my 20 minutes last sunday. i felt great after the class... ibang klase yung pawis. i felt tired but energized. haha. mel was right when she said id love cosmic. :p thanks for the reco mel! tomorrow again... yahoo!
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i dont know what its like to lose a parent --- both my parents are still alive.
i dont know what its like to have to move out of the house you grew up in and have so much precious memories in --- ive had the same address for over 24 years.
being with you on the street like that breaks me apart. i had no idea it was this big for you. when i saw you silently wiping away your tears, maybe even in the hopes that i wouldnt notice, and you were just looking... as if to see through the walls and give light to show everything that this place means to you, i couldnt think of anything to say. i guess i was overwhelmed when i realized what an immense thing you are going through. you looked like you might have lost the most precious thing to you, next to your very own life. i dont think you've been defeated. now i admire you more for for the strength that you show.. you push and push on with life.
i hope that even if i didnt manage to say anything comforting (i might have even said all the wrong things), i hope you heard everything i wanted, but could not find the words to say when i hugged you. i could have hugged you all night if it meant giving you peace and more strength to continue with what you are doing.
i love you, friend. i really do. and i know you know that. im just here for you because i know at this point, given how hard it must be to be in your shoes, you need your space and you'll give me a call in case you need company. i know you miss him more than anything, im sure he misses you guys just as much. you and your family will be in my prayers.
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