back in manila

i havent posted much... and i know ill regret it. i like looking back and reading old posts because it gives me an "outsiders perspective" of myself. hahaha.

so today marks my 5th day back in manila and my 20th day of "unemployment"... a lot has been accomplished, and quite some more to be done.

its an unfamiliar feeling for me not to have SURE plans. im still waiting for word on my aus visa.. pending approval or otherwise, everything now is "for now". YIKES! i feel like a fish half out of water! it feels uncomfortable waiting in between like this.

oh well, basta im planning and moving based on the assumption that ill get it. ill cross the bridge of what to do if i dont get it, IF i unfortunately find myself there.

pleasant surprise for today

it so happens that ms. julie is in town and had invited joan and me for dinner. we met up with her at liza and benny caleda's lovely home here in phu my hung. it was apparent that joan and I were meant to meet them - that, in the greater scheme of things i had not crossed paths with them in my one year here but tonight i did.

what great (and inspiring) company we had! so many beautiful things shared over the equally lovely meal. stories on love, life, miracles, tips and tricks on surviving living abroad, etc. there was sooooooooooo much to get just from the stories they had and there was so much more by seeing how they live... and love.

some things i want to take note of coz i dont want to forget them when i wake up:

face adversity with a thankful heart

find entertainment in the hardest things you face

at the end of the day, we're visitors in their country

a woman needs a man who is smart and will always be able to make her laugh

ms julie, tita liza and tito benny... THANK YOU. :)

life's reminder

i have nothing profound to say. only to share that its funny how life sends you messages and reminders in places you would least expect them. sometimes its a random trigger that makes the cogs in your head just click and make sense... and sometimes its more obvious, more full-on and in-your-face...

today's reminder came from my mindless research on BAC XIU (spell check) --- my milk with coffee which im getting addicted to (CALORIES!!!). I was googling this to get my mind off some "excess concerns". 

anyway, here's what hit me in the face:

it reads: "Distance is not the end of the world in a relationship. Distance cannot and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment and love. Although oyu may feel like you are losing faith in your relationships at times, hold fast and trust your heart! Truly believe that love and relationships are what make your life special and that the ones built on love and understanding are always worth preserving, regardless on the miles that separate two people."

mana sa ninang

thank you to sam for sending me this picture. :) check it out....

please take note of the fierceness of shoti. the dagger look... the half open mouth.... mana sa ninang... marunong magpa-picture. hahaha. 

i need air

i wont even bother with the details of what i had to go through since november. its just too stressful. but for people who have managed to catch a glimpse of me at this time, or have heard a story or two, you would know that it has been tough to say the least. its as if my personal life is on hold until work clears up. by the look of things, ill be this way well into q1 of 2009.

BUT!!! i will try to keep a positive attitude and say a part of me (albeit very small) is still thankful that i have work to stress about where thousands of people are losing their jobs all over the world.

i think right now this is really wear and tear getting to me. the holidays was supposed to be a welcomed break, but its hasn't been much of that... well, at least not the holiday i had in mind.

i have two things in mind to get me out of this state... 1.) an honest to goodness absolutely no work at all holiday where i have nothing to think of other than what time to get out of bed and 2.) getting to that part where all the troubles of this particular project are far behind me.

im crawling towards the light at the end of the tunnel!!!

christmas buzzzzzzzzz

a little more than a month left before Christmas and i feel a different kind of buzz. 

im used to the traffic, the crowded malls and the incessant Christmas songs (name almost any song, they'll have a christmas version/mix just for the holidays) in manila.. the usual lights, and decors and all the festivities.

but this year is quite different. :p right before i head home for the holidays, my life will be literally buzzing with work. ive been holding my breath in suspense on whether or not this project will fall through or not simply coz if it does it will mean i will have to fly home for a few days to attend to a major meeting. today i found out its 95% good as a "go".

i will have to admit part of me is happy that i can come home before the holidays. it will be 4 months next friday since i first flew into saigon. its a cute coincidence that i fly itno manila on the 26th and fly back to saigon on the 28th... exactly my 4th month mark of living in saigon. haha. coolness. and im equally happy i get to see jp... of course thats the best bonus of all. but the sad part is, mommy and papa are flying in on the 27th on the cebupac early am flight. i kinda feel guilty that i will not be here to pick them up from the airport and take them around on their first day. our reunion will have to wait until i fly back friday afternoon. *sigh* ill try not to worry too much about that because i have some ideas cooked up for the parents while im away. :p

so its going to be a damn busy december up until the very day i leave for home for the holidays. busy busy busy. really a different kind of christmas rush. :p

here's to surviving 27-ish days. and to a GREAT christmas break up ahead. :)

sicky semi-sucky week

i figured this week would shine less brightly after that fab weekend at mui ne (my first out of town trip since i moved here). 

long story short, i got sick this week and had to stay home for 2 days. and the last two work days weren't that easy to swallow. in fact, i might have gagged on several occasions.

in any case, i will hold on to my happy mui ne memories and be thankful that its the weekend already. hoping matuloy yung "tourist day" tomorrow. :) that should cheer me up. i have a lot to make up for in terms of photos to take here in saigon... :p

3 months

in a few days i would have been away from home for 3 months already. cut-off na ng homesickness ko. oh no... no more excuse for insane moments. hahahaha.

i clearly remember mr g telling me that the first 3 months would be most difficult for me... this is where all the adjustments and homesickness usually kicks in. oddly enough, ratherim thankful, that apart from at most 3 inexplicably sad mornings of uncontrolled tears and over the top melodrama and ka-praningan, i've been okay here. i am in no way complaining.. dont get me wrong. im surprised i have not cried buckets every night nor have i impulsively bought tickets back to manila. although i think i still have had my fair share of realizations.

before i left for saigon, i was picking alf's brain about what its like to live and work abroad... to somehow prepare myself for the changes ahead. i remember him saying that it would be a good experience, but i should be aware that i may discover things about myself that i may not be ready to accept. i knew this move was about both professional and personal growth. so far i have been faced with more realities about myself. some of which are easier to swallow than others. hahaha. but i have no regrets.

so here is to my first (almost) three months... and hopefully to many more stable and fruitful ones. :p mot, hai, ba, yoooooooooo! :D

under the radar

sometimes i feel like im living my life under the radar. while i dont doubt my capabilities and potential, its just a nagging thought that im the only one who knows of them. hahaha.

back in manila, i worked (with great pride) for the same company for 5 years --- it was my first job. though i was there for 5 long years, ive come to realize that i barely know anyone in that industry outside of those that i have worked with. ang konti. hahaha. in fact, when i got a call from another agency late last year and the girl said she heard about me and is interested to get me for her team, i was half surprised and half doubting if this was for real or if it was just someone playing a prank on me. i kept on thinking "how in the world id she hear of me???".

i guess i dont mind that im not one of those people that if you mention the name, chances would be that someone would have heard of him/her. in short, di ako pop-kid. not when i was in grade school, maybe a bit more in college (pero hindi rin e), and definitely not when i was working. 

is that necessarily a good or a bad thing? should have its pros and cons, but which would outweigh the other? 

does that make me an under achiever? or does it simply mean im not as good as i think i am?

maybe it means im just not the type to broadcast and merchandise my work? humility?

or maybe i AM popular in my own right, but i just realize it?

hmm....

no words

i find it ironic... now that some of the greatest things in my life are happening to me, i cannot find the right words to capture the emotions, the experiences and the immensity of it all. part of me is probably afraid that if i try to put it into words, it will end up sounding cheesy and baduy. hahaha.

maybe i should just stop trying and thinking so hard and just write about it. :p i think in the future, i will appreciate how i can look back at great times like these and know that somehow ive immortalized parts of it.

winning and losing

woke up today feeling like the world is so much better. ang saya ko talaga. main reason really is that im so looking forward to next weekend but the cherry on top was the oh-so-fabulous win by ateneo yesterday.

being that im in another timezone, it was really hard for me not to watch the game live.. but even harder not to watch it at all. thanks to acky... i got to watch online (at the office.. hehehe). happy as i was, it was one of the hardest things ive done because im used to cheering my lungs out at games... and for me to watch the game and have to literally hold my mouth shut so i wont react at all was excruciating. feeling ko puputok na puso ko. syempre i had to pretend i was "working".

anyway, we won, and la salle lost. what was supposed to be just a comment n pat's blog turned out long enough to post.. so here are my thoughts. haha.

you really see what people are made of when they are down. i may be miles away from araneta, and STILL i have my fair share of bitterness from our green friends --- i work with one, and my sister is married to one. si ko maintindihan kung bakit pag talo na sila, iniiba yung usapan bigla... 

1. congrats, mas marami naman kaming championship trophies 

-- okay, fine. i cant deny that, but a win is a win. fact also is, WE ARE THE CHAMPION THIS YEAR.  

2. okay lang manalo kayo, mas malaki naman sweldo namin sa inyo. 

-- uhm, okay. sa basketball kasi part ng stats yung financials ng mga alumni ng school di ba? (rolling my eyes)  

3. sige, kayo naman.. para sumikat din kayo. 

-- ano daw? halatang bitter at walang masabi. hahahahaha!  

4. luto naman e. ang papangit ng mga call ng referee. 

--- gasgas na to. pobreng mga referee lagi na lang sila may kasalanan. they only call it as they see it. tough luck. we've had our fair share of bad calls (or lack of) too. and please dont blame the players for the ref's "bad calls". the boys just want to play and win the game. its just funny (and sad) how people can get used to the glory of winning so much that they forget how to lose with grace... oh well.

wait, not to generalize... i had more la salle friends call / text / ym to congratulate me for the win (akala mo ako naglaro, no?). thank you for that.

great season for ateneo. finger or no finger. good or bad calls. championship or not... it was one hell of a season (weirdest 4th quarter though). too bad i only got to see one game live.. and had to watch the last one online.

ONE BIG FIGHT!

wish list

like everyone i have a list of things i want to buy in the immediate future...

1. admu jacket at adidas... im a size small. hehehe. if someone can PLEASE buy this for me, i promise to send money to manila for it. pleeeeeaaaase???? i KNEW i should have bought the last piece in podium before i left!

2. dslr. i had to put this on hold coz the offer to work here fell through. i needed all the savings i could get my hands on at that time. i think ill be able to afford one by my birthday. :) weeee!

3. new ipod nano. eto luho na lang talaga. totally impractical coz there's nothing wrong with the one i have right now.. except it doesnt have video. :p maybe ill get it.. maybe i wont...

4. my own mac. yes, im a mac convert. since the office issued one to me, i love it more and more each day. maybe not in 2008... but soon after.

got hit while walking along nguyen hue

left the office to go meet two of my favorite friends here in hcm at dong khoi. so i was walking along nguyen hue boulevard, bag and laptop in hand, looking at the buildings and the lights and the motorbikes passing me. then, while i was crossing the street, i was surprised that it hit me...

im WALKING the streets of SAIGON

i can honestly say i LIVE in SAIGON

fart on my face. 

i smiled at the thought. i felt like a real adult and im proving im capable of independence. 

ang saya lang.

thats all, thank you.

ps. belated happy birthday jiller... mellie... and happy brithday shoti... and advanced happy birthday mommy ni hanz. :p

living in

redge moved in yesterday and slowly my once semi-bare apartment is becoming more and more homey. funny how it took a guy like him to make this place a little more girly. hahaha.

wait, before i get any violent reactions. and before any of you call mommy to squeal on me, let me clarify. first, redge isnt my boyfriend... can NEVER be. secondly, mom knows he moved in. and lastly, he's me pseudo room mate coz i had an extra room and he needed a place to move into.

grand gestures

good friend of mine is here because of his "girl" is here on a vacation with her family and he thought it would be nice to meet up here. short of the story, he got on a plane, and arrived this morning not knowing what kind of place will welcome him at the end of his flight. hanz aplty put, its a grand gesture.... and we all need grand gestures once in a while.

so hanz and i found ourselves having lunch at quan an ngon (along nam ky khoi nghia) giving him a crash course of all the gems of ho chi minh so he can razzle dazzle her family. its sweet. :) i think i got carried away coz even when i got back to the office, i kept thinking of options of where he could take them for meals, shopping, sight-seeing. haha.

wala lang. i guess natuwa lang ako kasi im a hopeless romantic and a sucker for surprises.

(ahem ahem... someone please start dropping hints somewhere back in manila... ahem, ahem.. lily? hahahahahaha!)

homesick?

is it weird that i don't really feel like i'm in a different country? 

i was walking "home" tonight and i thought at how adjusted i am to saigon --- not that i had major adjustments that i went through. is that weird, or does it just show me how adaptable i am? or maybe its because work has kept me busy to notice and think of the differences?

in any case, i guess the explanation is irrelevant simply because i'm happy that i'm not crazy homesick in my first month and a half that i've been away, and thats good from whatever angle you want to look at it.

paramdam

im still alive.

people have been asking me why i dont post as much anymore. the answer is simple: been busy staying afloat at work.

looking back, its been a good month (and a few days). i had weak moments but someone was always there to give me perspective, to listen, or simply just to be there. yet another reason to be thankful i am blessed.

so ive been happy with my progress at work. i think with E being out of town for a long time really pushed me to get down and dirty with work. pretty pleased with myself.

hopefully i can update more often the coming weeks... i dont only work here.. i happen to have a life too. hahahaha.

paramdam

im still alive.

people have been asking me why i dont post as much anymore. the answer is simple: been busy staying afloat at work.

looking back, its been a good month (and a few days). i had weak moments but someone was always there to give me perspective, to listen, or simply just to be there. yet another reason to be thankful i am blessed.

so ive been happy with my progress at work. i think with E being out of town for a long time really pushed me to get down and dirty with work. pretty pleased with myself.

hopefully i can update more often the coming weeks... i dont only work here.. i happen to have a life too. hahahaha.

12 hours at cowan

i wasnt able to finish the immersion last night so i was determined to wake up early and be at the office way before the official 830am. well, i was there at 730... not bad considering i barely slept. i kept waking up thinking i was late or dreams of the damn immersion woke me up.

this was the first time i was asked to work on a critical document that will basically pave the way for the kind of work we will be able to deliver. and i sure hell wanted to make an impression on my competency.

anyway, going back, i was there at 730am and worked my ass off the whole day until i left the office at around 730pm. goodbye lunch and any form of meals today. bad, i know. which is why im re-stocking on panawid-gutom food and swear to have a proper lunch. regardless if its at 4pm.

now im glad to be home, munching on adobong pusit from little manila. :)

oh, by the way, the immersion turned out okay. wasnt expecting to get it perfect on the first go, but im pretty confident i did a good job at it. pasado naman daw. :p weeeeeee! bawi ako from yesterday's booboo.

the balance of life

yesterday was a great day at work. eric and i were in sync and we got so much done collectively that i was surprised to see it was 5pm na pala. hahaha. no, im not regressing back into my workaholic tendencies, but im just glad to know how well we can work together. that, and i got a sign that i can hack this new job. 

great feeling. i slept looking forward to today.

but you know, every yin has a yang. and today reminded me that not all days will go as smoothly and i WILL make mistakes down this road.

started when i woke up at 8am. take note, my work starts at 830am, and it takes around 20 minutes for me to travel from my apartment to the office. to make it worse, eric and i had a telecon at 830 too. good thing i got there 830am. dont as how. i just did. and yes, i took a proper bath.

when i got over being late, the next wave hit me big time. it was really a very basic and stupid mistake. totally my fault. i sent the wrong file to the wrong client. FART DI BA??? nanlamig talaga ako when i realized my mistake. good thing eris was fairly nice about it. had he given me a more stern sermon, i would have taken it like an adult. coz it really was my fault. but he didnt. he just gave me a short speech, then issue over. which actually made me more guilty! hahaha. 

needless to say, the rest of the day after lunch was a struggle for me. i was so praning. i couldnt take making another mistake in the same day!!!

so now im home... with a healthy list of homework. im just taking a break to let go of the bad vibes so i can do a great job on the things i have to get done for work.

hopefully tomorrow will be another contrast to today... swinging off to the good side of things of course.