under the radar

sometimes i feel like im living my life under the radar. while i dont doubt my capabilities and potential, its just a nagging thought that im the only one who knows of them. hahaha.

back in manila, i worked (with great pride) for the same company for 5 years --- it was my first job. though i was there for 5 long years, ive come to realize that i barely know anyone in that industry outside of those that i have worked with. ang konti. hahaha. in fact, when i got a call from another agency late last year and the girl said she heard about me and is interested to get me for her team, i was half surprised and half doubting if this was for real or if it was just someone playing a prank on me. i kept on thinking "how in the world id she hear of me???".

i guess i dont mind that im not one of those people that if you mention the name, chances would be that someone would have heard of him/her. in short, di ako pop-kid. not when i was in grade school, maybe a bit more in college (pero hindi rin e), and definitely not when i was working. 

is that necessarily a good or a bad thing? should have its pros and cons, but which would outweigh the other? 

does that make me an under achiever? or does it simply mean im not as good as i think i am?

maybe it means im just not the type to broadcast and merchandise my work? humility?

or maybe i AM popular in my own right, but i just realize it?

hmm....