sometimes even when im around so many people, thats when i feel most alone. there are days when i feel connected with everything... sometimes naman everything is so alien to me. wala lang. its funny, ironic and cool all at the same time.
ive been feeling weird lately... parang roller coaster.. but more or less ive been in control i think... i mean, most of the time ill be okay on the outside. especially when im at work and whatever is bothering me isnt about work naman, but i trip at the oddest triggers... tapos bigla na lang hindi na ako okay... i get quiet and i spiral from there. then i try to sleep it off. my bestfriend says i tend to repress a lot of things. that's quite hard to believe kasi i talk about everything... even the smallest things... and i usually ask everyone's opinion before deciding on anything. now i wonder if this is a manifestation of just that... am i overflowing with repressed issues?
tomorrow will be spent doing something totally out of what im used to doing for work. it will probably be a good time for me to also think of things other than what i usually think of... iba naman di ba? tomorrow will be an 'iba naman' day.
no blogging for me... well, maybe when i get home... sana by then i can talk about something happier naman... right now i feel like im about to explode and all the things ive been keeping myself from saying will just come out.. word vomit.. exactly that. except im not drunk. i shouldnt let that happen... its like opening a mini pandora's box...
to all my friends who are going through their own ordeals and issues... i won't offer idealistic and 'preach-ey' words of so-called wisdom. i have none for now. only that we all can take consolation in knowing we are not alone in the shit-hole we are in, and as long as we keep moving, it will soon pass. i will pray for each one of you tonight. pray that with the rains will come peace of mind and heart for us all.
4 comments:
*this, too, shall pass*
hope ull feel better angel :)
there are times too, na out of nowhere, i feel incredibly badtrip.. but then, nothing that a good conversation and ice cream can't cure :)
maybe its a girl thing... i can blame it on hormones. :p haha.
im better today... ganun naman di ba... at least for me, i just need to sleep on it and i dont feel as bad about it.
yesterday was weird lang kasi i felt bad but i couldnt figure out WHY i felt bad... so di ba, how do you fix something if you dont know whats broken. hehe.
CATHY: ice cream DOES make me feel better.. last night i just needed a big tight hug...
DIO: having a lot of time on your hands can do strange things to you. ako, pag naka-tanga ako ng matagal, kung ano-ano naiisip ko... weird stuff... haha. what kind of work are you looking for ba?
tama si cathy, this too shall pass. me too, i've often felt sad for no apparent reason, but things get better as, well, corny as it sounds, as time goes by. hahaha! glad you're feeling better! :)
DIO: went through the same thing when i graduated.. i blamed it on my twisted paulinian education... hahaha. go out. talk to people na may trabaho na. ask them about their work. sometimes kasi you wont know you're interested in a certain occupation kasi hindi ma alam what it is...
im working in an advertising agency. i handle certain brrands serviced by the agency. :)
EL: ang sad naman ng life if things dont get better. my friends always tell me (and i believe and agree)--- happiness is a daily choice we have to make.
sometimes that choice is hard to mae but it is still a choice. :)
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