haunting past: a return of the comeback

my ex is in town and he's been harassing me to meet up with him. ayaw ko nga!

its been a few days since he first made his presence felt, and ive had time to think of exactly WHY i dont want to see him. no, im not 'affected' up to now. no, im not scared ill realize i still have feelings for him. its been almost a year since i got over him... and longer than that since we broke up.

here's what i think is the reason is: he reminds me of the 'me' i never want to be again (forever and ever and ever and ever and ever). sure he's a good person (in all fairness and equality), and i still get guilty for fleeting moments, but i still dont want to have anything more to do with him than occasional texts. ive said it more than once before... ive reduced that part of my life into a list of learnings. no more, no less. call me an ungrateful, cold-hearted bitch but thats the honest truth. no sense in carrying anything more than that.

now i feel like im hiding from a stalker. he texts me like its the only thing he does. and since saturday, ive refused to text him back. he says he'll wait for me at the lobby of our building or at the terminal where i get my shuttle to get home. he wont take 'no' for an answer!!! im getting impatient with this. suddenly i welcome my out of town work if only to rest from the feeling of being followed wherever i go.