i was supposed to write about luke mijares and the davao adventure anna and i had over the weekend, but ive been thinking about this thing since we got back... so, ill get it over and done with.
things have happened with anna and her ex in davao that got me thinking about my ex (in cebu) and how he came to be my ex... i remember that i broke up with him na love ko pa sya (mega iyak talaga). but i had to be practical about it and stick with what my head was telling me... note, im a heart girl... more often than not, masusunod ang emotions over logic. but this time my head won i guess. my head was saying: mahihirapan lang ako if i stay with him.
i remember being so confused at that time...
1. oo, i really loved my ex. and i knew he loved me more than i loved him. a first for me, kasi all the guys in my past, parang i felt more for them than they did for me (assuming any emotions were reciprocated)... hence the outcome. i was scared (and still em every so often) that hindi na ako makakahanap ng person who will feel as much for me. but thats a risk i have to take.. and i have to hope that i still will!
2. i knew i needed someone who could be around me and give me as much support as i can give him... iba pa rin talaga yung alam mong if you need a hug, you wont need to spend 6K and travel over an hour just to get it. fine, one hour for traffic... but you know what i mean.
3. although its really a small part of the reason, at that time, i started realizing a lot of these things kasi i started to develop something for someone else. shux, thats such a slutty thing to say! hard to explain the situation at that time... pero bluntly, ganun na nga nangyari.
4. plus, mahirap mang aminin, but facts are facts... we DO come from different background, and ashamed as i may be to admit, i never did figure out how i would have introduced him to my family... i just couldnt... shame, shame.
basta ang gulo gulo ko nun. i think i broke up with him 3 times and got back together with him hours after each time sa sobrang confusion ko. but it came to a point na i just decided to ditch what my heart was saying and stick to my head. so tiniis ko, and i broke up with him.
in hindsight, that was probably the smartest thing ive done. dont get me wrong... yun lang talaga ang tamang decision at that time, and maraming tao na ang nagsasabing there are better and bigger things in store for me. it was the harder decision but i took it na rin.
ironic... i broke up with him around this time last year... and now im made to reflect on those events again... i think ive come a long way from that... embraced new emotions for someone new... id like to think too that i have better control over my heart too. may restraining power kumbuggah.
i think that i made the right decision for him too... although his life doesnt seem to have taken the route he had planned to take while we were together, but i dont blame mysef kasi decision na nya yun.
who knows what will happen to me. who knows what will happen to him.
im not such a die-hard heart girl after all!
6 comments:
i am very proud of you, pwet. :)
hug!
hey!
bilis mo mabasa post ko ah! i just published this! :) thanks mic... i remember how much support you gave me... as always.
love you boo!
Gee... I really don't know what to say... I saw it all happen, and it happened to me too. Well, I must agree that there are bigger and better things for us out there Angel. For now, let's patiently wait for the next big thing and continue being able to control our emotions. Funny Angel... we seem to be in the same situation. Diba? ;) It's good kasi we can relate to each other, bad kasi since we are in the same situation, we cannot help each other. Sabi ko nga, a blind woman cannot lead another blind woman. hahahaha! Cheers to our life Angel! At least its never boring.
TRUE!
we were in situations na almost mirror noon... and now, similar situations again. haha. at least we can learn from the things we do in these situations. although may mga bagay ngayon na ginawa mo, na tingin ko di ko kakayaning gawin... at least i have to gather myself first! hahaha.
oo nga, you DID see me through this entire episode.i dont think i woudve goten through it as well (well na yun sa lagay na yun!) if you weren't there.
reminds me of a poem my friend wrote about waiting for the right person... lagi ko kasi binibiro na parating na yun, naipit lang sa traffic... hahaha.
hehe not saying i'm speaking from experience or anything but break-ups usually turn out better for both parties involved ;P
when you're in that situation, parang its unthinkable, pero in hindsight, breaking up was the only thing that could be done at that point in time ;P
live, love and learn :D
LILY: i totally agree! nung mga times na yun, parang mamamatay ako (kadiri ang pa-girl).. pero ngayon.. im super proud that i made the right decision.
hmm.. i wonder what pau's silence means.. usually sya yung maraming masabi about this topic. haha.
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