someone once told me (im not sure if it was mel or pau) that the key to knowing what i really feel or what mood im in, is my hair. gosh, ang babaw ko pala talagang tao! oddly enough, sometimes i find it to be true. its either a good hair day swings me into a good mood or my good mood magically makes my hair look fantastic. hahaha!
when once our kasambahay told me that i look different on weekends. despite the times i barely had a wink's sleep from staying out, i look happier and fresh on weekends. or so she says. on weekdays, mukha daw pasan ko daigdig. my eyebags are darker, deeper and puffier. niiiiiice. i wonder how much truth there is to her observation? am i just naturally happier to be home than at work?
so today, i decided to keep my hair neatly (and painstakingly OC-ish) in a low ponytail with my usual straight diagonal part. my side-swept bangs are behaved, and my ponytail isnt tikwas like it normally would. today is a great hair day. so, if the hair-theory is true, then today should be a great day.
that has yet to be determined. :p
Wednesday, May 30
Monday, May 28
someone give back my happy thoughts
what do you do when you wake up one afternoon and you realize you lost your happy thought? i dont know when, why or how it happened, but i just lost mine. I LOST IT. how can i lose my happy thought?!
if someone sees it, please give it back.
if someone sees it, please give it back.
Tuesday, May 22
the day i met john
totally caught off guard (understatement).
going about official business at cibo ABS... i shouldnt have underestimated tita chit. i was literally blown away... ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. the next thing i knew, katabi ko na si john prats. AS IN! i could not look at him... hahaha. di ko kinaya. wasnt prepared at all!!!
good thing, little girl had the best idea of insisting i have my picture taken with him... so she got my phone, and was trying to get the camera ready... ano sabi ko? "wag yan, may camera ako sa bag ako..." hahahahahahaha! nagpaka-fan. buti na lang talaga may camera ako lagi sa bag ko. kasi ang pangit ng resolution ng photos sa phone ko.
but it doesnt end there... photo number two.. and what did i say? "five years kong hinintay 'to" bwahahahaha!!!!! ang jologs. hahahaha.
nag-short circuit utak ko. as in i could not think. i never thought that id meet him today. hahaha. and to top it all off... to add to my embarrasing one-liners... when tita chit kept taunting me by asking him to look at me kasi kamukha ko daw si kim (nung payat pa ha... importante yan i-qualify)... ano sabi ko? (to him) "ang kamukha ko sister mo..." Lord Almighty... sukdulan na talaga yun.
it was a really jologs moment... cold hands, cold sweat and all... hahaha. i have to redeem myself. im asking for a second meeting. and this time, im going to be prepared.
i am going to relish this for the next few days... OH HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY DAY.
Monday, May 21
Friday, May 18
World of Shell V-Power with Ferrari
NBC TENT10am to 10pm
free entrance
ferrari cars on display
trip to italy, trips to boracay and fuel cards to be given away
tons of activities for everyone
see yah there!
Thursday, May 17
end of an era
we all have fond memories of things, people, and places we grew up with. and last night marked the end of one of my fond highschool memories.
my cousin ana, whom i grew close to through the years, used to be the road manager for the wiseguys (not sure if anyone would be familiar with them). and around second year highschool, she started bringing me to their gigs... and mommy would only allow me to go out if i was with ana. so my gimik life literally was dependent on their gigs. i looked forward to fridays and saturdays when i get to watch them (usually at strumms, chatter box galle, and 8th day) and was sure to have much fun. kaya siguro maaga din ako na-expose sa mga green jokes ng all boy group. hahaha. come to think of it, grad ball date ko was a close friend of one of them. and right after the awarding (as in i didnt join the dancing dancing part), we headed straight to blue lizard along pasay road for their gig. they were part of the secret life i led. hahaha. mom had no idea id drink, and my schoolmates had no idea that the simple little me then had such a night life.
i carried over this habit onto college but i kinda stopped going around senior year (fiddler's green na kasi pinapanuod ko. hehehe) until when i started working.
but i digress... about last night. last night was precisely that... their last night. ana YM-ed me telling me they were disbanding... nakaka-sad. while we were there, i cant help but feel sentimental... my huge HS crush on Jam (na ngayon siguro minor crush na lang... he's still my favorite) how they'd tease me about my hips and ass (well, everyone does, and they still do), etc.
well, thats the end of it. i tried to take in allt he sights and sounds of last night... to add to the memories... memories that started nung nagdadalaga pa lang ako (yuck, ang baduy pakinggan).
ps. its funny they still see me as 'nene'... and even funnier they all say "angel, dalaga ka na..." to which im so tempted to say, "um, kasi 25 years old na ako... lampas na ako sa dlaaga stage." hahaha. unless they're referring to dalaga as in single woman. hahaha.
my cousin ana, whom i grew close to through the years, used to be the road manager for the wiseguys (not sure if anyone would be familiar with them). and around second year highschool, she started bringing me to their gigs... and mommy would only allow me to go out if i was with ana. so my gimik life literally was dependent on their gigs. i looked forward to fridays and saturdays when i get to watch them (usually at strumms, chatter box galle, and 8th day) and was sure to have much fun. kaya siguro maaga din ako na-expose sa mga green jokes ng all boy group. hahaha. come to think of it, grad ball date ko was a close friend of one of them. and right after the awarding (as in i didnt join the dancing dancing part), we headed straight to blue lizard along pasay road for their gig. they were part of the secret life i led. hahaha. mom had no idea id drink, and my schoolmates had no idea that the simple little me then had such a night life.
i carried over this habit onto college but i kinda stopped going around senior year (fiddler's green na kasi pinapanuod ko. hehehe) until when i started working.
but i digress... about last night. last night was precisely that... their last night. ana YM-ed me telling me they were disbanding... nakaka-sad. while we were there, i cant help but feel sentimental... my huge HS crush on Jam (na ngayon siguro minor crush na lang... he's still my favorite) how they'd tease me about my hips and ass (well, everyone does, and they still do), etc.
well, thats the end of it. i tried to take in allt he sights and sounds of last night... to add to the memories... memories that started nung nagdadalaga pa lang ako (yuck, ang baduy pakinggan).
ps. its funny they still see me as 'nene'... and even funnier they all say "angel, dalaga ka na..." to which im so tempted to say, "um, kasi 25 years old na ako... lampas na ako sa dlaaga stage." hahaha. unless they're referring to dalaga as in single woman. hahaha.
Monday, May 7
'tis the time for updates
MAY 5 - a day of finally's
FINALLY got to go to see the iCare cardiologist yesterday morning... and im getting my tests done on wednesday. if all goes well, i have the doctor's thoughts by the 26th of May (my next two weekends are booked). i hope that will put all my worries to an end.
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FINALLY got a haircut. my first for the year. hahaha. i was putting it off so my hair would really have the chance to grow. and i absolutely love how philippe gave me a bit of side-bangs this time. weee!
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FINALLY. this was the catch word for my cousin's wedding. and i got to host it with my other cousin. di kinaya ng kapal ng fez ko. nahiya ako. hahaha. funyn thing pa, i went straight to the reception and almost crashed the wrong reception!!! hahahaha. i still laugh when i think about it. imagine if i ended up hosting the wrong event! :p
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kontra lang... one thing that i havent had finality on is what i want to do with myself. it been keeping me up late at night and restless all day. one thing is for sure. i will have to embrace the process and hope the answers come sooner than later.
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MAY 6 - children's party, spiderman, and beer
andrea's 1st bday party was fun. i sat at the singles table and iya was with the mommy's table.. hehe. sweetie pie martine.
spiderman and a couple of beers with the BF boys at central. thank God for the boys... really appreciate the time out with them since those are pretty much the only times i get to do stuff other than work. :p
my weekend went by so fast. and i woke up with a really bad stomach ache... so ended up going on half day. here's to an equally busy week. at least i have bangkok to look forward to this weekend.
to shop or not to shop?
FINALLY got to go to see the iCare cardiologist yesterday morning... and im getting my tests done on wednesday. if all goes well, i have the doctor's thoughts by the 26th of May (my next two weekends are booked). i hope that will put all my worries to an end.
----------
FINALLY got a haircut. my first for the year. hahaha. i was putting it off so my hair would really have the chance to grow. and i absolutely love how philippe gave me a bit of side-bangs this time. weee!
---------
FINALLY. this was the catch word for my cousin's wedding. and i got to host it with my other cousin. di kinaya ng kapal ng fez ko. nahiya ako. hahaha. funyn thing pa, i went straight to the reception and almost crashed the wrong reception!!! hahahaha. i still laugh when i think about it. imagine if i ended up hosting the wrong event! :p
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kontra lang... one thing that i havent had finality on is what i want to do with myself. it been keeping me up late at night and restless all day. one thing is for sure. i will have to embrace the process and hope the answers come sooner than later.
---------
MAY 6 - children's party, spiderman, and beer
andrea's 1st bday party was fun. i sat at the singles table and iya was with the mommy's table.. hehe. sweetie pie martine.
spiderman and a couple of beers with the BF boys at central. thank God for the boys... really appreciate the time out with them since those are pretty much the only times i get to do stuff other than work. :p
my weekend went by so fast. and i woke up with a really bad stomach ache... so ended up going on half day. here's to an equally busy week. at least i have bangkok to look forward to this weekend.
to shop or not to shop?
Saturday, April 28
pounding on the red button
since we got back to work from holy week, things have been no less than hellishly busy. and this morning, im really feeling it take a toll on me. even as i write this, i have to concentrate on breathing and fighting the tremors in my hands. how can anyone be under this much stress on a saturday morning?!
i feel SO overwhelmed and confused with things. its like my system is just overloaded... and i think its mostly because of the fatigue building up. i feel like i lost capability to do anything.... as in di na ako maka-isip. like im at my breaking point and i dont know what to do anymore.
id hate to think that other people in the office may be going through a similar thing... coz thats just not good.
the creatives have been working non-stop (literally). one presentaiton after (often one on top of another)... meeting deadlines just in the nick of time. and there's nothing we can do but just go through the motion and hope we get past this phase.
the accounts, the default "blame me" persons. always feeling guilty that we have to dump so much work on the creatives but really cant do much most of the time. i personally feel like im fighting to stay afloat.
i guess there's nothing more to do than to JUST KEEP SWIMMING. tired or not, i have to keep swimming to survive.. and hopefully the end will have for me a beautiful paradise island where i can rest and be carefree.
i feel SO overwhelmed and confused with things. its like my system is just overloaded... and i think its mostly because of the fatigue building up. i feel like i lost capability to do anything.... as in di na ako maka-isip. like im at my breaking point and i dont know what to do anymore.
id hate to think that other people in the office may be going through a similar thing... coz thats just not good.
the creatives have been working non-stop (literally). one presentaiton after (often one on top of another)... meeting deadlines just in the nick of time. and there's nothing we can do but just go through the motion and hope we get past this phase.
the accounts, the default "blame me" persons. always feeling guilty that we have to dump so much work on the creatives but really cant do much most of the time. i personally feel like im fighting to stay afloat.
i guess there's nothing more to do than to JUST KEEP SWIMMING. tired or not, i have to keep swimming to survive.. and hopefully the end will have for me a beautiful paradise island where i can rest and be carefree.
Monday, April 23
hot in the city
its been brutally HOT. im sure everyone in manila will agree. its been so hot that im actually looking forward to being in the office tomorrow to get out of the heat. hahaha.
i guess it wouldnt be as bad if i got to go and enjoy the heat at the beach. was invited to go to galera for mon and ralph's birthday... but i had medical tests schedules over the weekend. BUT! as fate would have it, the iCare cardiologist had an emergency saturday morning and didnt see anyone for consultation. sayang. i had to cancel the tests. I COULD HAVE SPENT THE UBER HOT WEEKEND IN GALERA!!!
o well.. no point in being a brat about it. :p
i guess it wouldnt be as bad if i got to go and enjoy the heat at the beach. was invited to go to galera for mon and ralph's birthday... but i had medical tests schedules over the weekend. BUT! as fate would have it, the iCare cardiologist had an emergency saturday morning and didnt see anyone for consultation. sayang. i had to cancel the tests. I COULD HAVE SPENT THE UBER HOT WEEKEND IN GALERA!!!
o well.. no point in being a brat about it. :p
Saturday, April 14
whats on my menu?
since my fainting spell early thursday morning (april 5), ive been meaning to head to a neurologist for a check-up. so this morning, despite having less than 4 hours of sleep, mom and i went to see a neurologist and a cadriologist.
the neurologist says i need a work up for possible cardiogenic syncope (SING-kuh-pee).
say what?! hahaha. i looked it up and syncope is a medical term for fainting. (sosyal di ba?!) and fainting happens when the brain is not receiving enough blood and oxygen --- thus the temporary loss of consciousness. more specific to his initial findings: cardiogenic syncope is when the fainting is from the abnormal heart rhythms. but the bigger question was what caused me to "syncopate"? (hahaha.) initially he thinks it because i drank a granite with an espresso shot at max brenner at 5pm (an "upper") then a beer at 9pm (a "downer") and that may have caused my heart to skip some beats.. eventually leading to the fainting.
in any case, there isnt a final diagnosis yet.. but they do have to run several tests on me to help figure out the cause and to rule out any of the serious stuff (ie. seizures, heart conditions, etc.)
here's the list of tests i have to have done:
1. ECG
2. complete blood count
3. (some stuff i can read but has something to do with my blood)
4. 2D echo with DS
5. treadmill exercise
6. stress test
7. EEG
grabe. these are the tests done for my parents!!! and im having them done too! hahaha. whats not as funny though is that its SUUUUUPER expensive. parang gusto ko ulit himatayin sa mahal... except this time ill know the exact cause is. :p
but health is wealth.. its ironic that i have to make a huge dent on my savings. ouch ouch ouch. hopefully though the office HMO will approve and shoulder the costs. :D
i have a feeling this is far from over. after the tests have been done, ill know if i have to see any other specialists..
so the adventure continues...
the neurologist says i need a work up for possible cardiogenic syncope (SING-kuh-pee).
say what?! hahaha. i looked it up and syncope is a medical term for fainting. (sosyal di ba?!) and fainting happens when the brain is not receiving enough blood and oxygen --- thus the temporary loss of consciousness. more specific to his initial findings: cardiogenic syncope is when the fainting is from the abnormal heart rhythms. but the bigger question was what caused me to "syncopate"? (hahaha.) initially he thinks it because i drank a granite with an espresso shot at max brenner at 5pm (an "upper") then a beer at 9pm (a "downer") and that may have caused my heart to skip some beats.. eventually leading to the fainting.
in any case, there isnt a final diagnosis yet.. but they do have to run several tests on me to help figure out the cause and to rule out any of the serious stuff (ie. seizures, heart conditions, etc.)
here's the list of tests i have to have done:
1. ECG
2. complete blood count
3. (some stuff i can read but has something to do with my blood)
4. 2D echo with DS
5. treadmill exercise
6. stress test
7. EEG
grabe. these are the tests done for my parents!!! and im having them done too! hahaha. whats not as funny though is that its SUUUUUPER expensive. parang gusto ko ulit himatayin sa mahal... except this time ill know the exact cause is. :p
but health is wealth.. its ironic that i have to make a huge dent on my savings. ouch ouch ouch. hopefully though the office HMO will approve and shoulder the costs. :D
i have a feeling this is far from over. after the tests have been done, ill know if i have to see any other specialists..
so the adventure continues...
Thursday, April 12
Sunday, April 1
night out with the boys
i havent been out in a long time. my usual gimik would be hanging out at someone's house or at a nearby bar or your short dinner or movie then head home. but last night (or this morning rather) i found myself at the heart of mainstream nightlife.
it was supposed to be a laid back gimik at 310 along aguirre with some neighborhood friends since christian was leaving for denmark... i wasnt able to join them but they picked me up a little past midnight on their way to cuisine at the fort. ive never been there and it was fun.
by past 3am, the boys were ready to call it a night... BUT! i had to eat so we stopped by burger machine here in BF.
some photos with the boys:
it was supposed to be a laid back gimik at 310 along aguirre with some neighborhood friends since christian was leaving for denmark... i wasnt able to join them but they picked me up a little past midnight on their way to cuisine at the fort. ive never been there and it was fun.
by past 3am, the boys were ready to call it a night... BUT! i had to eat so we stopped by burger machine here in BF.
some photos with the boys:
Saturday, March 31
what i do best
i sent a random thought to a friend... and i didnt expect to get this reply: go do what you do best.
whoa. good point. the thing is... WHAT IS IT THAT I DO BEST ANYWAY?!
whoa. good point. the thing is... WHAT IS IT THAT I DO BEST ANYWAY?!
Friday, March 23
im thankful again...
big load off my shoulders... im so thankful to God things happened they way they did. actually id be more thankul if it didnt happen at all.. but these things happen for a reason.
the worst thing for me to deal with was the disillusion. im not naive. i know these things happen... and several families all over the world have gone through, are going through, and will go through a similar predicament. but one would NEVER think or expect it would happen to them. i never thought it would happen to MY family. but it did. and i was broken by it.
at least now, i can really go and continue mending that part of myself. start to forgive and forget... slowly i understand. for this blessing, i am thankful. i hope this makes you both stronger... makes all of us stronger. i hope this opens doors for things to go back to the happier days. after all, in the end we only have each other.
the worst thing for me to deal with was the disillusion. im not naive. i know these things happen... and several families all over the world have gone through, are going through, and will go through a similar predicament. but one would NEVER think or expect it would happen to them. i never thought it would happen to MY family. but it did. and i was broken by it.
at least now, i can really go and continue mending that part of myself. start to forgive and forget... slowly i understand. for this blessing, i am thankful. i hope this makes you both stronger... makes all of us stronger. i hope this opens doors for things to go back to the happier days. after all, in the end we only have each other.
Monday, March 19
few people get me
i think i can name just 3 people who i know REALLY get me. like they can finish my sentences and get what i want to say even if i cant construct a decent sentence to express myself. not just that, they GET me... no judgements, they just get me... like i make sense to them. scary, aint it?
and im ever so blessed and thankful to have them. case in point... was chatting with pearl, and i was suprised at how accurate she can be about me:
"you can be so closed about your emotions sometimes... like you dont want to open up.
You are an open person and all that but there are times when you set up walls or seem indifferent about things that actually mean a lot to you.
Like you are careful.... you are more than meets the eye so i do not push when you do not want to talk or say things and i figure you will say or show how you feel when you feel comfortable or want to get it out..
i think it is bec you feel so bad and you cannot control it after... like a huge melon stuck in your throat. or you trying to stand up when there is river that tries to wash you down."
i love it. thank you pearl. you hit the spot.
you know me too well. hahaha. sabagay 25 years of friendship does that. :p
and im ever so blessed and thankful to have them. case in point... was chatting with pearl, and i was suprised at how accurate she can be about me:
"you can be so closed about your emotions sometimes... like you dont want to open up.
You are an open person and all that but there are times when you set up walls or seem indifferent about things that actually mean a lot to you.
Like you are careful.... you are more than meets the eye so i do not push when you do not want to talk or say things and i figure you will say or show how you feel when you feel comfortable or want to get it out..
i think it is bec you feel so bad and you cannot control it after... like a huge melon stuck in your throat. or you trying to stand up when there is river that tries to wash you down."
i love it. thank you pearl. you hit the spot.
you know me too well. hahaha. sabagay 25 years of friendship does that. :p
because i said so
i was supposed to have a working saturday... deliver flowers to greenhills, meeting at abs, then head home. somehow, isa-isang nawala yung gagawin ko. the clincher is, i ran out of official things to do, i was in makati na. hahaha.
i was supposed to watch this baduy movie alone... dont ask why. good thing i ran into lily (literally) and we ended up watching 'because i said so'.
good movie... tried not to me extra emotional about it... it was hard since something semi-major happened to my family around lunch. but anyway! i liked the movie.
id watch it again.. maybe with my mom this time.
i was supposed to watch this baduy movie alone... dont ask why. good thing i ran into lily (literally) and we ended up watching 'because i said so'.
good movie... tried not to me extra emotional about it... it was hard since something semi-major happened to my family around lunch. but anyway! i liked the movie.
id watch it again.. maybe with my mom this time.
beer and poker
friday was a fast one... we had our thanksgiving mass at 4pm then a shocking staff meeting after (i still dont know what to feel after the announcements)... but we soon drowned our concerns in beer and lechon cebu.
it was one of those times that beer didnt taste like anything.. it tasted like water actually. i knew id end up drinking more than my usual (which still isnt a lot on normal standards). so i had a couple of beers at the office. it was the usual gasso party.. fun, fun, fun. happy kris got to stay for a while.
at around 9pm, i headed to skyland to meet up with some other friends. i though i was just going to watch them play poker and then head home by midnight... but no. they had other plans. hahahaha! long story short, i got a crash course on poker. half the time i didnt know what i was doing (given i had already a good amount of alcohol in my system.. my standards). but i had fun.
ended up going home at 3am. thanks for the ride and the great conversation... :)
it was one of those times that beer didnt taste like anything.. it tasted like water actually. i knew id end up drinking more than my usual (which still isnt a lot on normal standards). so i had a couple of beers at the office. it was the usual gasso party.. fun, fun, fun. happy kris got to stay for a while.
at around 9pm, i headed to skyland to meet up with some other friends. i though i was just going to watch them play poker and then head home by midnight... but no. they had other plans. hahahaha! long story short, i got a crash course on poker. half the time i didnt know what i was doing (given i had already a good amount of alcohol in my system.. my standards). but i had fun.
ended up going home at 3am. thanks for the ride and the great conversation... :)
Friday, March 9
major recap
MAJOR RECAP!!! havent been able to write since SOOOOOO many things have been happening. (im still a bit overwhelmed.. hahaha)
most are good and happy things... but i must warn you the last item just oozes with anger.. i cant help it. f***ing asshole.
feb 22 - advil pitch
happy this went well... and even happier we got the account! whoopeeeee!
feb 24 - pearl
i remember pearl was supposed to come home fo her dad's 60th but i got caught up with stuff going on. so hearing her voice on the phone got me a bit disoriented. haha. i thought she was callign long distance from denmark... then i realized she was calling from her house across the street! so like i used to do years and years ago, i got out of bed and went straight to her house. hahahaha.
happy pearl is home, but sad that tito bo had to pass away today. i guess it should be seen as a blessing that he didnt have to suffer long. tito was the first of papa's barkada to pass away. although my only memories of him were of when i was around 9 and we'd go to hundred islands with them, i will miss him. via con dios tito bo!
feb to mar 10
spent days with pearl.. to make up for the 2 years of not seeing her. the last time she was here, we barely got to spend time together. so we were pretty much inseparable for 2 weeks. just like old times.
ATC with pearl's college friends... johnny, joey, katkat, migs, marie, ermel, and baby hagia
central and havana ktv with the d. tuazon boys...
la luz!!!!
feeling a bid sad she has to leave so soon! but ill see her again and i know we'll have as much fun again. :) i still have tonight to stay up and take thousands of photos with her. hahaha.
feb 28
gave myself the chance to try something new. and it went surprisingly well.. kahit na napigtas sandal ko as i was about to sit down. hahaha! thank God ms J and i have the same shoe size. great conversation... great to be exposed to a different group of people... and i wasnt conscious at all about being jologs or less intelligent! hahaha. will have to beg off poker night tonight... maybe next week. :)
mar 1
things have generally been great for me. but now comes the anger part.
you asshole. its sufficient to say im STILL mad at you. more because napahiya ako and my pride is badly bruised. this is EXACTLY why i dislike opening up to people who show intentions other than being just friends. because it makes me vulnerable. and i was stupid enough to give you a chance... to trust you... and give you the benefit of the doubt. even if my closest friends told me more than once that you were bad news... you're a player...
this is why my pride is hurt real bad. because I let this happen. and you took advantage. what were you thinking?! how can you go to your weekly religious meetings and spend the rest of the week taking advantage of people. HYPOCRITE!!! argh! im still really angry.
you insensitive asshole. how can you have dinner with my family and do what you do? the nerve talaga. i pray you dont get karma for the things you do. because if you do, i will not think twice about laughing. i hope you never meet the girl who will break your heart like you've broken so many girls' hearts.
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i move on.
one of the many things i realize from all of this, the world keeps on turning... regardless if im happy, sad, angry, or lonely... the world will not stop for me. i may feel like sh*t, but i just have to keep going... to keep swimming... :D
most are good and happy things... but i must warn you the last item just oozes with anger.. i cant help it. f***ing asshole.
feb 22 - advil pitch
happy this went well... and even happier we got the account! whoopeeeee!
feb 24 - pearl
i remember pearl was supposed to come home fo her dad's 60th but i got caught up with stuff going on. so hearing her voice on the phone got me a bit disoriented. haha. i thought she was callign long distance from denmark... then i realized she was calling from her house across the street! so like i used to do years and years ago, i got out of bed and went straight to her house. hahahaha.
happy pearl is home, but sad that tito bo had to pass away today. i guess it should be seen as a blessing that he didnt have to suffer long. tito was the first of papa's barkada to pass away. although my only memories of him were of when i was around 9 and we'd go to hundred islands with them, i will miss him. via con dios tito bo!
feb to mar 10
spent days with pearl.. to make up for the 2 years of not seeing her. the last time she was here, we barely got to spend time together. so we were pretty much inseparable for 2 weeks. just like old times.
ATC with pearl's college friends... johnny, joey, katkat, migs, marie, ermel, and baby hagia
central and havana ktv with the d. tuazon boys...
la luz!!!!
feeling a bid sad she has to leave so soon! but ill see her again and i know we'll have as much fun again. :) i still have tonight to stay up and take thousands of photos with her. hahaha.
feb 28
gave myself the chance to try something new. and it went surprisingly well.. kahit na napigtas sandal ko as i was about to sit down. hahaha! thank God ms J and i have the same shoe size. great conversation... great to be exposed to a different group of people... and i wasnt conscious at all about being jologs or less intelligent! hahaha. will have to beg off poker night tonight... maybe next week. :)
mar 1
things have generally been great for me. but now comes the anger part.
you asshole. its sufficient to say im STILL mad at you. more because napahiya ako and my pride is badly bruised. this is EXACTLY why i dislike opening up to people who show intentions other than being just friends. because it makes me vulnerable. and i was stupid enough to give you a chance... to trust you... and give you the benefit of the doubt. even if my closest friends told me more than once that you were bad news... you're a player...
this is why my pride is hurt real bad. because I let this happen. and you took advantage. what were you thinking?! how can you go to your weekly religious meetings and spend the rest of the week taking advantage of people. HYPOCRITE!!! argh! im still really angry.
you insensitive asshole. how can you have dinner with my family and do what you do? the nerve talaga. i pray you dont get karma for the things you do. because if you do, i will not think twice about laughing. i hope you never meet the girl who will break your heart like you've broken so many girls' hearts.
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i move on.
one of the many things i realize from all of this, the world keeps on turning... regardless if im happy, sad, angry, or lonely... the world will not stop for me. i may feel like sh*t, but i just have to keep going... to keep swimming... :D
Thursday, March 1
agit agit agit...
a lot of things to update... but not now. i just need to unload a bit (as always)...
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do i? i think i do. and im a bit concerned. thats not a good position to be in. not with all the unaswered questions. but ill have to cope with where i am... maybe its the lack of sleep of something. but i just cant get you out of my head... and its driving me insane. how do i work this situation?! HOW?!?!?!
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i appreciate you 'listening'.. i notice the change... i dont regret speaking up about being uncomfortable about some things. and its stupid of me to be looking for it now!!!!! girl cant make up her mind? or maybe we just dont see eye to eye about some things and you didnt get what i was saying. who knows what going on in there... share naman...
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everyone says i should be careful... i have just about had it with tip toe-ing around and playing safe. this is why i hate mind games. i just cant play.
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do i? i think i do. and im a bit concerned. thats not a good position to be in. not with all the unaswered questions. but ill have to cope with where i am... maybe its the lack of sleep of something. but i just cant get you out of my head... and its driving me insane. how do i work this situation?! HOW?!?!?!
-----
i appreciate you 'listening'.. i notice the change... i dont regret speaking up about being uncomfortable about some things. and its stupid of me to be looking for it now!!!!! girl cant make up her mind? or maybe we just dont see eye to eye about some things and you didnt get what i was saying. who knows what going on in there... share naman...
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everyone says i should be careful... i have just about had it with tip toe-ing around and playing safe. this is why i hate mind games. i just cant play.
Friday, February 23
mixed nuts
athough still sluggish and sleepy, i feel G-R-E-A-T.
yesterday's presentation went well... feels great to be part of it. ive been lucky that the few new business pitches ive been part of, most left me in high spirits. happy with myself and how i did. :) teehee.
i really hope we get the account.
of course the last few days leading up to yesterday were less than sweet. i found myself angry and frustrated again. but hey, ganun talaga e. inthe end things still went well. that should be enough to get over all the hassles.
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ive been thinking... there are things that you cant force.. some things just dont go together. maybe we're like that.
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here it goes... im starting to feel the strain of this new set-up... but i know we can get over it and adjust. after all, if what we have is as strong and special as we say, then we'll be okay.
i guess i just miss you. especially since these are the times i would love to share with you.
yesterday's presentation went well... feels great to be part of it. ive been lucky that the few new business pitches ive been part of, most left me in high spirits. happy with myself and how i did. :) teehee.
i really hope we get the account.
of course the last few days leading up to yesterday were less than sweet. i found myself angry and frustrated again. but hey, ganun talaga e. inthe end things still went well. that should be enough to get over all the hassles.
----------
ive been thinking... there are things that you cant force.. some things just dont go together. maybe we're like that.
----------
here it goes... im starting to feel the strain of this new set-up... but i know we can get over it and adjust. after all, if what we have is as strong and special as we say, then we'll be okay.
i guess i just miss you. especially since these are the times i would love to share with you.
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